Why did my best friend lie to my face?

I’ve posted about this previously, but one time, I googled my friend out of boredom, and found that her birthday was different than what she’d been telling me. She told me her birthday was on August 3rd, 1998, but everything I’d found (court records, voter registration) showed her birthday to be on October 10, 1998. I confronted her about it and she said that that wasn’t true. Well, we aren’t speaking right now due to different reasons, and I got bored again and decided to do more digging. (Which I know probably isn’t a good thing.) I found her birth record that has her parents name’s on it. Sure enough, it says October 10,1998. Why would she lie to my face about it? It’s not like I haven’t been celebrating her birthday on August 3rd. If she didn’t want me to celebrate her birthday or something, I would’ve understood. But why lie about it? My feelings are really hurt and I don’t know if I should just let it go or confront her about lying.

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HootyTheNightOwl

Wow, you've got a good life if the only thing that you have to worry about is the fact that your friend has a different birthday to what you were told.

When I was 18, I was more concerned about my own life than the lives of my friends.

As for her birthday... people choose a different day to celebrate for a variety of reasons. Maybe her actual birthday holds unpleasant memories that she would rather not go into??? Or she just didn't want some nosy parker sticking their nose into matters that don't concern them???

sabrinarose · 26-30, F

But the first time I asked her, we were friends in middle school. Why lie about it then? I would’ve understood if she said she didn’t want me to know. I don’t think asking someone when their birthday is is being nosy.

HootyTheNightOwl

@sabrinarose How do I know??? It could have been something that changed as a one off in her life once and she decided to make a tradition of it...

Asking someone when their birthday is isn't nosy... but resorting to Googling them isn't necessary, either. Some things are better off left undone.

In this case, you found out something that you weren't supposed to know, so now you are trying to unpick the mystery and the conspiracy theorists are going to come out full force and tell you that there's something wrong with a situation that could have w very simple explanation if you actually spoke to her rather than sitting here asking us about someone that we may never know.

sabrinarose · 26-30, F

@HootyTheNightOwl Fair enough. But I did ask her, and she lied to me. But I guess I’ll just let it go and hope she had a good reason.

HootyTheNightOwl

@sabrinarose Can you tell me why you feel so desperate to get to the truth of the matter???

From my angle, it doesn't make sense. I get that you feel that you were lied to all that time, but, if you hadn't Googled her, then you'd likely still believe that her birthday was in August as she said. I can also understand the "If she lied about this, what else has she lied about?" idea, too.

What I don't get is why you are letting it bother you so much if you are no longer friends with her and you aren't still associating with her??? Obviously, if you still have some contact with her, then it makes sense to come clean and get the reason why straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak.

If you aren't in contact with her anymore, I don't get why you still let it bother you as opposed to accepting it as a mystery that you will never know, setting it aside like old garbage and moving forward with your life??? At the end of the day, there's nothing preventing you from moving forward with your life regardless of if you ever get the answer that you want or not.

sabrinarose · 26-30, F

@HootyTheNightOwl We are still friends, we are just not speaking at the moment. It bothers me because I was lied to to my face. But I’ve decided to let it go now.