Update. A conversation did happen.

I think it took way longer than I wanted to and it felt like dragging my feet through the mud, but I finally had that final conversation with my "best friend".
It felt like pulling a tooth but well. It's done, we're done, now I have to keep on going without her.
To be honest a part of me is resting now, finally. I recognize the situation was turning very toxic and the good feeling I had for her where getting tainted.
I am grateful for the memories and everything we went through together. I wish it didn't have to end but I'm glad is over.
oof. That was liberating. I'm sure when it truly downs on me I will grieve a little more. Or a lot more. I accept that, but it's scary because I don't have a lot of other friends that I'm close enough to get through these things with.
but oh well. I can get through it. I'm sure more people will come by sometime.