Anxious
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I just realized how stuck I was.

I was unemployed for months—almost a year. During that time, I was isolated, basically living a hikikomori life. I didn't go outside or socialize, not even online. The most I did was post on discussion groups. I had no contact with my college friends. I isolated myself out of shame and other stuff.

But now that I'm employed, I kinda got the courage to talk to a friend of mine from college. And it made me realize just how stuck I was. I talked to them, and you can really feel how much they've changed—how mature they've become—while I’m almost the same as I was back then.

I can also feel they don’t see me as a "friend" anymore. Like, sure, I was a friend to them last year, but it’s obvious they’ve moved on, made new friends, and lived life—while I’m still looking at them the same way I did back in college.

It really shows how stuck I’ve been. I feel like I didn’t grow at all during that span of time. I feel left behind.
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We all go through our ups and downs , you were in a phase in your life that was clearly emotionally difficult for you as it is for most , and often financially difficult to allow growth (most socialising,hobbies etc requires energy and money) , so don't be so hard on yourself. It is also okay to drift away from people , everyone experiences life differently , maybe in the future your paths will cross again ,maybe this will create space for people which are more aligned to who you are now. Just take it easy and congratulations on your employment.
AngelUnforgiven · 51-55, F
Take this time to make new friends. People outgrow each other. Its a part of life. Let go of the past. Make some new memories.
Hahn49 · 46-50, MNew
I deal with depression. I don't go out much
BuzzedLightyear · 61-69
Don't be too hard on yourself. It's still early in the game for you.
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