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Why do I feel bad? 😔

Poll - Total Votes: 17
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No
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Over the past months, one of my closest friends started distancing herself from our group. Little by little we could tell that she was drifting away from us. And later I learned that she has a new friend group, which is fine, I didn’t take it as there being anything wrong with that. But as time went on, she ignored us completely… And we’ve supported her through some of the most difficult and painful moments in her life… I don’t think I did anything wrong, then why do I feel so guilty??

My question is, is it worth fighting for a friendship that you feel is lost? 🙁
Flenflyys · 31-35, F
That’s life. People change, circumstances change
Muthafukajones · 46-50, M
You’re still really young and probably thinking your friendships as family. People tend to drift towards and away from each other over a lifetime. It’s is normal and natural. You can reach out less and less and when they reach back you can reach toward them too if you want. Don’t feel badly. It is life.
Ashly · 26-30, F
@Muthafukajones thank you Jaime Foxx… I mean MF Jones ♥️
NerdySoph · 26-30, F
It is normal to feel guilty even when the fault is not ours. We're searching for a reason to the event, and when our mind cannot find one, it goes for the nearest thing .. ourselves.

In short - let her be ..
she has a new thing and may or may not appreciate the history you all have, but you cannot control that, and definitely should never blame yourself for it :)
Ashly · 26-30, F
@NerdySoph thank you 😔
I know it’s hurts but at least I can cherish the good times we had, If she comes back then I’ll be here waiting with open arms 🥺
NerdySoph · 26-30, F
@Ashly Open your arms .. i'll fall into it bb 🥺
Kidding, prolly not a good time to joke around, my bad
Ashly · 26-30, F
@NerdySoph it’s, I’ll catch you 🤗
Thank you for you advice
MrBrownstone · 46-50, M
Sometimes people drift apart. I had friends for 10 years that I lost. You just feel guilty because you always think about what you could have done differently. But people drift away. It happens.
MrBrownstone · 46-50, M
@Ashly Sucks I know. You will have the memories.
Ashly · 26-30, F
@samueltyler2 I’ve tried, various times, I’ve gone out of my way to try and talk to her
Even her mom knows that she’s ignoring us 😔
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
Sadly, then, it is time to cut your loses. @Ashly
TexChik · F
Don't be unkind or burn any bridges, things change
We feel bad because it’s comforting to think that relationships are valued equally by both parties, when the reality is they often aren’t. It’s not worth fighting for because there’s no point in persuading someone to value something if it’s not intrinsic
Livingwell · 61-69, M
I have a friend of over 40 yrs ghost me. I was the maid of honor at her wedding. We were that close. People do change.
Livingwell · 61-69, M
@bijouxbroussard Yes. But I was her best friend so she asked me to do it. So I arranged for decorations, getting bridesmaid dresses, etc. Even chaperoned the bachelorette party.
@Livingwell Okay. I understand now. When one of my closest friends married his partner of several years, I was his "Best Maid". ☺️
Livingwell · 61-69, M
@bijouxbroussard Big honor.
Jenny1234 · 51-55, F
Talk to her and find out the reason she wanted out of your group
Jenny1234 · 51-55, F
@Ashly that happened to me too with my best friend. There was nothing I could do about it so I let her go.
Ashly · 26-30, F
@Jenny1234 I just have to do the same then… 😔
@Jenny1234 --- everyone i know goes away in the end---
Strictmichael75 · 61-69, M
Maybe she will
Get back a lot later
Don’t feel guilty
Ashly · 26-30, F
@Strictmichael75 I hope so, if not I’ll cherish what we had
Strictmichael75 · 61-69, M
@Ashly exactly
Friend changed so just let go
The friendship has to be mutually desired. It doesn't sound like she has an interest. If not, best to let it go.
JohnHenry · 36-40, M
You can’t force people to be who they once were. Times and people change
Teslin · M
You can't "fight" for her friendship.
Just let things happen naturally.
fortheloveofmoney · 31-35, M
You feel bad because you feel that she wronged you by ignoring you
Nitedoc · 51-55, M
I've felt the same way. It hurts.
jenmil · 22-25, F
No let it go
Only in terms of keeping the communication open so that they know you [b]are[/b] still their friend and have no hard feelings (assuming that’s true). Even if you no longer hang out together regularly, if it’s just the two of you occasionally for coffee. The friendship can survive if you both want that.
Ashly · 26-30, F
@bijouxbroussard that’s what I was hoping to do, not say anything but at least keep that line open, just in case

Thank you for your advice 🥹
ArtieKat · M
@Ashly I'm with @bijouxbroussard. All I'd add is that you should keep this just between you and her: you talked about groups of friends and maybe something has changed in the dynamic which has caused her to distance herself from others in your group. In my experience [quote] closest friends[/quote] meet and talk separately - stress to her in a text that you'd like that to be possible.
Yes ! It’s important she know she can talk with you discreetly.
uncalled4 · 56-60, M
My feeling is no, it sucks but I hate the idea of my friendship not being valued.
Ashly · 26-30, F
@uncalled4 it hurts, but people come and go in our lives, that’s life 😔
uncalled4 · 56-60, M
@Ashly Indeed.
Lilnonames · F
people come into your life for a lesson but not for the journey
Ashly · 26-30, F
@Lilnonames oh no 😟
Lilnonames · F
@Ashly truth

 
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