I really hate it when people whine but don’t want solutions

My friend is married but has been whining about her husband since I have known her..

While I see her own issues in the relationship, so she is not an angel.. I definitely see fundamental problems with her relationship like her husband having anger management issues and not willing to see a doctor (to me that’s just a red line) and also being religious while she is not, and also being cheap with money while she wants to enjoy and honestly for me cheap is also a no no for me.. anyhow.. I actually know her husband, and I don’t think he is horrible.. despite all what I said, I think his behavior is exaggerated because of factors.. but anyhow.. horrible or not.. they are not working

She keeps on whining… My only advice is that this is not working… I have been empathetic because I know it is not easy.. I tried to empower her, tried to offer help, i even offered her to stay with me .. She is too afraid to take any step to change her life, whether in this matter or any other matter in her life like deciding on a career for example, which is driving her husband crazy and to be honest, it is driving me crazy too how many times she changed her mind since she quit her job..

Now she is totally dependent on him.. ans cant make up her mind about career and just keeps whining about him..

The other thing that really gets on my nerves is how she doesn’t seem to realize that life is not all fun and games.. she keeps thinking about the cons of having a business or a 9 to 5 job and whine about the need to wake up early, work etc and preach freedom and enjoying life etc well great.. nice you understand life is more than work and you live in that spiritual unreal world but it is not real.. if you are not rich, you have to accept this, move on!!! Because you are not getting any freedom either by dreaming about it.. to be honest, as much as I am against her husband, sometimes i understand why he is so angry.. it is really annoying when gets that unrealistic and therefore stays still.. yes he contributes to her state of being stuck, but then she doesn’t want liberation either

I am getting sick of this.. this is stupid .. it is like you either make up your mind or stop whining.

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bijouxbroussard · F Best Comment

I totally agree with you.
I don’t enjoy being around folks complaining about correctable problems they have no intention of correcting. And I especially hate folks whining about partners they chose whom they have no intention of leaving.

TheLadyPotato · 31-35, F

@bijouxbroussard Thank you! Been really getting sick of repeating myself and I intend to stop it!

HikingMan · 56-60, M

First, just wanted to thank you for something that I'd describe as a "Real Post"
Thanks.

What you describe reminds me of those people that get into self-help or therapy and stop as soon as they recognize their patterns, then end up hiding behind what they've learned with fancy words and a complete lack of action taken that could possibly interrupt the cycles they're stuck in.

I was guilty of that for a long time. It's how I recognize it here.

For a lot of us, there is a certain type of comfort inside of the Devils we know, that outweighs the Devils we don't.

I feel for her. But that's no reason for you not to set up a boundary that says to her in a clear and unwavering voice..., I can and will try to help, but I can't listen to the vent if you're unwilling to do the hard parts."

Just my thoughts and I mean no disrespect.

ineedadrink · 56-60, M

I understand and agree with your point of view. Butshe is going to whine about you not helping her make her life better.

Captainjackass · 31-35, M

I can’t stand people who whine about their lives yet never do anything to change them. I realized I was becoming one of them and thats what made me go to college to make changes.

samueltyler2 · 80-89, M

So sad when you see that inz friend's relationship

TheOneyouwerewarnedabout · 46-50, MVIP

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