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You cannot lose what you never had.

SW-User
And some never realize what they had.
@SW-User until it’s too late

A lot of those
@SW-User
No. Some take for granted what is in front of them, while their eyes scan the room for something else.
Maybe.
But sometimes it still feels like a loss
@Ghostinthemachine
That too.

Part of you would be glad to go back on track. But another part of you misses the memories of the road less travelled. 🙂
@CookieCrumbs and sometimes those are the best ones
@Ghostinthemachine
They could be.
True
And cant keep what's not yours, and can't hold onto something that doesn't want to stay
@Bexsy
Life is all about choices.

It’s their choice to stay or not.
It’s your choice to let them choose what’s best for them.
@CookieCrumbs that's very true
ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F
It can certainly feel like a loss, though, a gut-wrenching one.
@ChampagneOnIce
It can be heartbreaking when you know you could have made [i]something[/i] out of [i]nothing.[/i]
That’s when you feel you lost something that was never there.
ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F
@CookieCrumbs Exactly
WhateverWorks · 36-40
There’s something interesting about the wording. You can’t lose what you never had, but you can feel a deep sort of disappointment when a belief in the potential of someone/something is dying. That grieving process creates a space until we’re able to let go of our hyper-focus on whatever/whoever in order to live out our bigger Dream/core values.
@WhateverWorks
You captured the meaning of the line.
You’re right. It’s a feeling of disappointment.

[quote]deep sort of disappointment when a belief in the potential of someone/something is dying.
[/quote]
Reject · 26-30, M
You can lose anything. It only needs to matter to you.
Reject · 26-30, M
@CookieCrumbs As right as you are, there are many who live and die by these delusions and to those people? Nothing could be more true. Meaning is what makes credence and when you choose the meaning you find around you instead of within you, then you’ll lose every last love you’ve ever had and that is reality.
@Reject
When you choose the meaning from what others define, it will always feel like it’s not enough.
Reject · 26-30, M
@CookieCrumbs Yes. This is because when it comes to your emotional health, there’s no definition better suited to you than your own. Not even science can tell you what you are. Personal enlightenment is not determined by any research or study that applies to a group. It’s your own journey discovered when you finally start loving yourself.
Harmonium1923 · 51-55, M
Great line. You know, that appears in The Complete Angler, a famous fishing book from the 1600s. My son and I quote it all the time.
@Harmonium1923
No way!!! Really?! That’s interesting to know… but why a fishing 🎣 book???😳
Harmonium1923 · 51-55, M
@CookieCrumbs Someone complains about losing a fish he had hooked and the teacher replies, “Nay. the trout is not lost, for no man can lose what he never had.”
Ontheroad · M
True, but your heart and soul still feels the loss. Sometimes truisms ignore our humanity, our heartache.
@Ontheroad
But what did we really lose when there was nothing?
scooogy · 31-35, MVIP
You make me repeat that I never asked her to tell me of her boyfriend just in case she thought I'd be interested in her. On the other hand she guessed right back then.

But what's your opinion on those little reasonings for relationships, like "he likes the Spice Girls, so he's my boyfriend" or "she likes Star Wars, so she's my girlfriend", but as soon as things change, they say " you can't be my partner anymore"?
GJOFJ3 · 61-69, M
True, but we can and often do lose the opportunity to have something we have never had
DunningKruger · 61-69, M
Yes, but you can lose the hope and dream of having it, which in some ways is worse.
Magenta · F
Reality bites, hard. 😥
Magenta · F
There's so much illusion and delusion in our heads of what something is.
@Magenta
Illusion and delusion. 🤭

It may not be all illusion. It just captures how [b]we [/b]interpret circumstances (actions, words, intent).
If there was anything lost in translation, that’s on us. 😅
This message was deleted by its author.
RubySoo · 56-60, F
🤔🤔hmmmm
But you can lose the purity of the delusion you were in .

It hurst jist as bad when reality smacks you down .
@CookieCrumbs i know why i lost myself and i knkw why it happened : i believed honesty and forgiveness were a part of love.

Apparently not everyone believes that 🤷‍♀️
@OogieBoogie
Honesty and forgiveness.
You’d think it is something simple to expect from any relationship. But they are not.

There are people whose built-in nature is to be dishonest. Yet they are also the ones who make you feel invalidated when you point that out.

You forgive them once, and maybe again. But they take that for granted.
@CookieCrumbs they do , it becomes their norm. And forgiving them only means to them, they basically got away with it .
JoyfulSilence · 46-50, M
True.

This is why I often do not take risks.
JoyfulSilence · 46-50, M
@CookieCrumbs

I focus too much on the cons rather than the pros. So to avoid the cons entirely, I often remain seated on the sidelines of life.

For example, I have for years resisted the pressure to apply for promotions. Some required leadership skills and personality traits I do not have, and others required math knowledge I lacked. So the easy approach was not to apply.

Yet when I started to see who got hired, I felt stupid for not applying. Then a month ago, my boss called a meeting just with me about a new job, and he urged me to apply. So I did.

I got interviewed. It went well. But I am a little scared about the new situation. Will it be too challenging? Will I have to deal with more people? Will I like my new boss? He was hired mid-pandemic, and we do not know each other well.

And today he asked me to give a talk at a conference next week. Apparently neither he nor the speaker were able to secure funding to attend. I did. So I will be there.

But I have no clue what the talk is about, and know little about the planned speaker. I resisted, because of this, and the short notice, but said that if I have to do it I guess then I would.

Gosh I hated having to resist, since the person asking is the same person considering hiring me for the new job. So now I fear that might be in jeopardy. He eventually backed off and withdrew his request. I am busy on time-sensitive stuff, anyway.

So, now I am a little pissed at my potential employer. Not just for springing this on me, but for putting me in a situation where I had to say no.

A more savvy person might have enthusiastically volunteered. But I have felt a little abused lately, having to delay my work to rescue other people's projects. It is making me cranky. So when I was asked again to do some other person's work, I put my foot down.

Now I am having second thoughts about this new job. Should I withdraw?

Also, he was born in China and is hard to understand. I miss a lot of words. It is not his fault, but why would my office hire a person who cannot speak clearly?

Ugh.
@JoyfulSilence
Let me reply to this properly a little later. I want to share a lot of things with you.
JoyfulSilence · 46-50, M
@CookieCrumbs

I appreciate it. Take your time.

Just writing all that above has calmed me down.
It’s wild how so many people really don’t understand this
@Teggy
Because it deviates from the whole mindset of ownership…

I think people feel security in knowing what they own or not own.
TexChik · F
Only your perceptions have changed .
@TexChik
Ahh. That makes sense. 😌
PoeticPlay · 51-55, M
Oh yes you can!
I saw it sitting right there in the top drawer.
I asked Simi if it belonged to her.
She said no somebody left on the counter. Just leave it right there til somebody ask about it per usual.
Now I am the villian because a month later and it isn't in the top drawer any more.
SensualRomantic · 46-50, M
Hmmm, why it's mildy adult.
Rhode57 · 56-60, M
FoolishLuna · 56-60, F
likesnatural · 70-79, M
Everyone lost their virginity once.
Zonuss · 41-45, M
You cannot lost what you never had.
But you can also gain what you never had before too. 🤭
@Zonuss
That’s true. We just have to be open to realize that.
Lilnonames · F
[image deleted]
@Lilnonames
No. Not everyone.
And in time, you’ll realize that.
@Lilnonames [image deleted]

 
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