I am now accepting applications to be my friend. Please reply with a short description of how you can help the enterprise.

Have you ever though to yourself “I don’t have enough Spyro the Dragon related conversations and have way too many tables not broken in half by a large penis”?
Well have I got good news for you

I supply I endless supply of sarcasm and an requested advice... sometimes even good advice

I value free time and can keep it safe. I listen and talk a lot. I remain silent a lot. I like silent days in the forest, i can carry water. What else? The qualifications?

You are NOT or You are NOW?

I was on the USS Enterprise for a few years.

I'll bring the CBD...

If you're not accepting applications, what's the short description for?

I’ve said that too. I already have enough friends.