I've been single for a while but it doesn't feel like it

Probably because we still live together for now. It's complicated. I still don't want us to separate but there's nothing I can do about it anymore. She still gets mad at me for any little thing. I still struggle to fix the issues because my attempts make everything worse. Regardless if I'm right, wrong, or neutral.

We still sleep together & I'm still confused on the sexual aspect. She treats me like she doesn't wanna be with me but then she says stuff like "you don't wanna kiss me" or "you don't smack my ass anymore" & I'm just thinking "well I didn't know I was supposed to still 🤷" it's not like I just stopped because I don't like it anymore.

But it's tough because lately I'm thinking like... I kinda just feel used in a way. Like I'm not good enough to be with but I'm good enough to mess with if you're in the mood? It kinda hurts but I want to hold on still 😔 I know I should draw a line & say I can't continue the relationship like this if we're not even gonna be together but at the same time I'm afraid of doing that because I don't wanna lose it completely. & I know that all sounds stupid but she's the mother of my child & all I want is to be a family & see my kid every day. Nobody ever talks about this stuff from a dad's perspective though. We're supposed to just take the blame, take the BS, & chin tf up like everything's okay

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ScreamingFox · 41-45, F

Co-parenting is not easy. My son's dad moved back in with me after being divorced for 8 years. We have zero interest in each other and it's still difficult. I wanted my son to have his dad around, but his dad makes everything so much harder.

This is why I'll never understand people getting married, because we change. Things have to change sometimes.

Have you talked to her about not having sex anymore? Have you talked about setting up some boundaries that won't disrupt things Naya?

Perhaps having separate rooms will help?

I don't know my friend. I don't want to live with my ex anymore and I think we were better off in separate homes so I have to be responsible for him now too. My son's father is literally like having another child to look after.

You guys gotta figure out how it works for you or find separate living situations. It's hard. It was gonna be hard no matter what.

Sometimes what we think is best for our kids isn't really the best.

You're making a lot of sacrifice right now and that's draining.

writhe

That sounds like a difficult situation. Wouldn't it be better for your child long term to set up boundaries? I get why people think it's better for children to grow up with both parents but it might be confusing to them when their parents live in such dynamic. It teaches them that fighting and manipulation are normal in families. And growing up they understand a lot more than what we give them credit for. What if they see either you or their other parent dating other people because you're "single" but then sleeping together as if nothing's happened. And maybe right now you're not open to dating but I see you're young and in the future this "relationship" could cause problems in your love life. Also if for any reason you can't get full custody, you might try moving very close and you don't have to not see your child every day. It might take more effort but your child will know that you'd do anything for them despite the difficulties. All the best to you!

NeuroticByNature · 41-45, F

Im not sure I have any advice for you. I feel for you though so hugs. Seriously consider secretly consulting an attorney. No one deserves that. And youre right alot of men that deal with that dont talk about it but it doesn't mean youre alone. It also doesnt mean you deserve it because you don't. I understand doing anything you can to make a normal life for your kids but theres a point when things aren't as healthy for them as it could be. Either way stay strong.

SatanBurger · 36-40, F

Yeah I never want to over step and say the wrong thing but if that happened to me as a female in a hypothetical scenario, I'd feel like he was keeping me on the back burner. I'd also feel like he wants control over me as acting hot and cold all the time is a manipulation tactic meant to confuse your feelings.

But that's from my perspective, of course she could still like you but something is stopping her or something she could be afraid of. I can't assume her character.

FreeorLonely · 51-55, F

Hey relationships and parenting are not easy. All you can do is be sure who and what you want and make it known. She obviously still cares but it sounds like she’s confused.

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valobasa4ever · F

“You become who you spend your time with.”

💐

Thank you for sharing with us. <3

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