The old me would be so depressed right now

@Reject thanks man. Perhaps it'd be easier for us to get along separated. I don't hold any grudges & I'll always care about her & want her to be okay. I want our daughter to see us both happy even if it can't be together.

@ChiefJustWalks That could help for sure. That’s how it was with my family. The moment I got away from them it was much easier to be around them only sometimes instead of all the time. As far as I can tell your wife doesn’t have any reason to hold grudges of her own either so I think your daughter will be able to see you both happy. ♥

@Dainbramadge yeah you guessed right on everything. It was her idea to split. I've been expecting it because it came close a few times & it already felt like she checked out. I've been trying to hang on but it's just been depressing a lot of the time that we're around each other. It got to the point that I felt like I was holding on to something she was already done with.
I try not to blame her. She already had depression & then we had a baby so post partum has been really hard on her. I wanted to be there for her & I did my best but after a certain point, there's nothing left I can do. It almost seems like she blames me for her mental health.. I've been feeling like a monster for so long & then I finally started to realize that I feel broken too. I couldn't take it anymore & I started breaking down. I started taking every precaution not to upset her & to avoid getting defensive or offensive whenever she was cold to me (which became every day). It got to the point where she would go to sleep for the night, & I'd stay up & just cry for hours, watching as much therapy stuff as I could to try to understand what was happening.

I appreciate you man I know you got a lot to share. I'm always open to hear you out on any topic but especially when it comes to dad stuff. I remember that's how we met years ago when I wasn't even a dad yet. Thanks a ton man, fr. I have no doubt in my mind that Naya & I will always have each other & always love each other. She's already so happy to see me all the time & she's always asking for me when I'm not around. Even her mama told me after we split up, that Naya asks for me every day.
I had to go pick up diapers so I left her with my stepmom & sister for 30min & they took a video of her all sad saying "dada" nonstop after I left 🥹 she makes me feel so loved

@YoMomma honestly I feel like this relationship taught me a lot about how to remain calm & try to understand the other person. I used to be quick to get defensive & there was a time she told me "it's not like you're 'in the streets' anymore, you don't have to fight anymore" & I started to realize she was right. I never liked to fight but I was so accustomed to believing that I had to. I was so quick to defend myself even when the person wasn't an enemy.

Thank you though & I hope we can co parent civilly. I even hope we can be friends even if it's never like the best friends we used to be before it ever got romantic. I'll always miss those days but those were sadly gone ever since we got together

@ChiefJustWalks i think you can go back to being friends.. i have heard of such things .. it doesn't work for everyone but it might for you two ☺ i’m glad she helped you find calm too in yourself and your relationship ☺ i think you’ll both do well it still stings a lil to break up even if one’s heard wasn't completely in it.. you may have both just been trying for the family aspect but it wasn't working and you both were not 100% into each other romantically? It’s best to be 100% and i’m sure you’ll find it sooner or latter.. not that you are looking now 😅 some people get back together latter in life too.. but not always ☺

@ScarletWitch sounds like you've come a long way & you're still gonna go further. I remember you being down a lot of the time & it makes me happy to know you've overcome a lot of things & you're giving yourself credit for that. That's important too. Even focusing on the things you love is awesome because I feel like we all need something to look forward to in life. It's what keeps us going & gives us something to love for. No matter what it is.
I've seen your tiktoks a few times before when you posted some. I can tell you just love acting in them being happy makes you look more beautiful so that's awesome.

Nicotine is hard though. Any addiction is. Don't be too hard on yourself about it, it sounds like you could still get there someday

@Gibbon yeah I'm half expecting that "finality that it's actually over" to set in at some point. I know it might just hit me hard later on & I might be like "ohhhh now it's hitting me" but I'm hoping for the best

@Poppies He's Inspiring, not to return to vices due to frustrations.

@Starcrossed thank you 🤗 it means a lot coming from you because you're one of the closest people I've ever had around here

@Mamapolo2016 wise, & thank you. Honestly if it weren't for my kid, I probably wouldn't have made all the progress I have. I might've let myself get dragged down. She gave me a reason to give a damn about myself

@ChiefJustWalks Yes. When parenthood begins, our ability to govern our own life alters dramatically. Grownups recognize that.

The rewards are phenomenal, but for some, the obligations a parent has for the well-being of their child are just too heavy. By creating a child, we lose our right to be selfish.

..... Even though my frustrations aren't about relationships.

@JohnnySpot I'm not sure what you're going through but I'm thankful this could help you in some way. One thing I've learned from my self destructive days, is that I was my own biggest enemy & I was the biggest person who didn't believe in myself. & That damaged me & affected my decisions more than anything. I wasn't important enough to myself. My vices held more importance to me & once I realized that, I genuinely didn't wanna live that way anymore