Has anyone been able to reconcile with estranged adult /teen daughters? What is your secret?

This is an extremely painful position to be in. I tried that three times, but being my daughter is a malignant narcissist that is not possible. Is your daughter narcissistic? They really cannot be "fixed". Even Dr. Phil said he and his colleagues have concluded that they don't get well. They just get worse, and he admitted that even he doesn't know how to help them. For my own safety, I have to stay away from her. You can't force these things. I hate to say this, but with narcissists, you're way better off not to reconcile. If you try, they can really hurt you bad and that could include physically, because they're not thinking right. And it's not your fault. I had to respect myself and take care of myself, not enable her to abuse me repeatedly. I had to get away for my own health.

My daughter didn't speak to me for about 3 years from the age of 16. Her father is a controlling narcissist and brainwashed her against me and her 2 siblings. I didn't get emotional with her, despite the pain of it being the worst thing ive ever felt. I kept the door to communication open and when she gradually started to speak again I kept things very light and cordial. You can't force it, all you can do is stay open and willing to heal things when they do approach you. We now have a great relationship and she finally sees her father for what he is.

Sitch details:
I was pretty depressed for a period of time when they were young…my oldest at the time 9yrs old resented the emotional abandonment as she had to look after her 7yr old and 5yr old siblings on my bad days when I was bed rotting. At 15yrs oldest and middle daughter left for their mom’s place.
I’ve apologized and I know they were little so I can see how enraged she and helpless she would have felt. I am respecting their boundaries and wishes and only communicate during birthdays and holidays but I know they have a right to how bad they felt and I should have got support from their mom when I was really sick. I now just have to keep being firm in my love and wait for them to come around . Hope they can one day realize how awful mental health can be and I thought I was doing the best that I can. Forgiveness is pretty huge but I don’t expect it

Not completely estranged ,yet.
My son is in his thirties.
He really thinks he has not only a right ,but a duty to "put me in my place",as he sees it.
I no longer invite him into my home and rarely communicate with him.
He's rude to his sister as well.
It hurts ,because, I know ,total estrangement will be the only solution if he can't see his way to treat me and his sister with respect or at least tolerance.
Your daughter's are young, they may see things different when they mature more.

Good luck. I have 3 daughters and they chose not to keep in contact after I left and wouldn't dance to their mother's tune*. Apart from very rare messages once every 5 years/av I don't hear a peep, I've tried contacting but I usually get a one word answer and nothing after that. They are all mature adults now going about their own lives.

*Driving an hour to pick up my kids to find the house in darkness.
The second time I arrived in time to catch her packing the car for a weekend away at which point I complained. She called her solicitor on the Monday who said if I turn up at the house again they would tell LE I had threatened her.

I know two people this happened to, because of biased information given by the other parent.
Dont worry too hard, kids grow up.
If you be you, dont push and just be there when they need/want you, they get to see who you are without the bias.
In both cases of my friends their children grew and made their own free choice, and in doing so also saw the past toxicity they were given.
Hang in there

I’m 30 and I’ve been estranged from my mother since I was a kid. I moved out and haven’t spoke to her since. Sometimes it’s just better that way.

Not personally but I've been around people going through this.

There's no secret or quick fix. You repair whatever reputured the communication or lack of it, however long it takes

After college my older daughter had a degree and got a job and basically ignored me, then she got into serious financial problems and called me!!

Why are you estranged in the first place? Maybe i will take their side instead?