To anyone who had loving parents
Can you describe what it was like growing up or even now, having someone love you and accept you? I'm trying to reparent myself but it seems unfathomable to me that I could feel warmth from a parent or myself.
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beermeplease · M
both my parents were loving and would have done anything for me and my brother....not only were they our parents but also our best friends....i think about them everyday...when i think back of their struggles as life went on, i appreciate them more...i was very fortunate to have great parents
PatKirby · M
I believe one of the keys is understanding that parents are just human beings like you and me and everyone else. Some are further down the road in compassion, patience and giving than others. It may be interesting to know that many parents went through the same thing when they were young themselves, and later repeated the same things their own parents did to them upon their own kids. I found this to be abundantly true when I worked at a juvenile delinquency center. I asked twenty or so parole officers why are the kids there so violent, angry, disobedient, and disrespectful?
Every single parole officer said the exact same thing, "the parents" - meaning the parent's parents did the same to them when they were young. And what they ended up doing was marry young just to get out of the house themselves in order to escape their own abuse. The problem was that they had no proper parenting skills so when they went out into the real stressful world, they had no examples so they did what their parents did to them - abuse them. The answer to solving the problem begins with Love & Forgiveness. This breaks the cycle.
Hope this helps.
Every single parole officer said the exact same thing, "the parents" - meaning the parent's parents did the same to them when they were young. And what they ended up doing was marry young just to get out of the house themselves in order to escape their own abuse. The problem was that they had no proper parenting skills so when they went out into the real stressful world, they had no examples so they did what their parents did to them - abuse them. The answer to solving the problem begins with Love & Forgiveness. This breaks the cycle.
Hope this helps.
SwampFlower · 31-35, F
Neither were very emotionally present but I always knew I could rely on my dad when it came down to it. He raised me to be very independent but I always had that safety net to fall back on. Now as adults we have a great relationship and I can tell that where he fell short he was figuring things out and doing his best.
kodiac · 22-25, M
Totally understand how you feel. When my parents died i was too young to remember them .In foster care the first rule is don't get attached. I had at least 10 different foster families most abusive in some ways. I have no clue what having real loving parents is like . Hoping one of them would adopt me meant being let down again and again, left me feeling like it was me and not them.
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Coralmist · 41-45, F
@kodiac I can assure you it was not you🌸 You truly deserve compassion, safety and acceptance, like EVERY kid or human does. You are not exempt. I guess we have to really understand that self compassion or love comes from kind words and acts done to us..but because we didn't have that, we need to do it for ourselves. I get stuck because I keep thinking it's too good for me. But that's the abuse talking. I am determined to find a way to accept ME.
Tumbleweed · F
You need to let that go, love. You have many friends here, always here for you, so embrace it & let that heal you.
I can't imagine what you have gone through, all I can tell you is that they will answer for the damage they've done to you.
You deserve peace and constantly trying to figure them out will destroy you. Please don't let that happen.
I can't imagine what you have gone through, all I can tell you is that they will answer for the damage they've done to you.
You deserve peace and constantly trying to figure them out will destroy you. Please don't let that happen.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Tumbleweed Thank you my friend🪻..I am not trying to figure out my evil mom anymore luckily. I can't wrap my head around that one COULD get love over years time from a parent, which translates to self esteem as an adult. I can't fathom it's true because she made me believe fully I was a mistake and unworthy of even taking up space. It is beyond hard to unravel it. She continued it after my childhood into adulthood too , so it feels loving myself is unattainable 😕
Secretsmile · 51-55, F
HumanEarth · F
I didn't have that, I had the complete opposite. Father was the abuser and my mother was distanced and was never close. It was the other people in childhood that showed me love and compassion. Grandmother, aunts, friends moms, neighbors. My childhood was very fucked up.
CrazyMusicLover · 31-35
Pfuzylogic · M
hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@hippyjoe1955 Meaning for those who had neglectful, bullying, evil , or abusive parents, as an adult they say to reparent yourself to give yourself the acceptance, love or assurance every person needs to feel a whole person. Only it's really hard trying to provide myself with those things, because it's etched in me I don't deserve basic rights or goodness. I'm working hard at it though.
JoyfulSilence · 46-50, M
AnnabelleLeigh · F
My mom was the best! She was loving and kind. She supported me in anything I wanted to do. My dad on the other hand never told me he loved me or was proud of me. His friends told me he bragged about me, but he never had a kind word to say to my face. On the other hand though, when the chips were down he was there for me.
