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How can I be the best mum?

I have a 1 year old and genuinely curious of how I can be the best mum possible to him.

I try my best to spend time sitting, exploring and talking to him. I know how to make him belly laugh and I have never felt myself lose my temper with him. I do however sometimes allow miss Rachel or Mickey Mouse tv time when I’m overwhelmed (I work full time so balancing being a mum and working is tricky). I also don’t have a lot of money at the moment just with paying off some debt so I buy a lot of his things from Vinted - not sure if this makes me a bit of a crappy mum.

How can I be better?
Richard65 · M
You sound like a great mum. The best gift you can give a child is your time. Seriously, that's what they remember. My nephew told me recently that he loves me because I take the time to play with him, whilst all the other adults are busy. That's all he wanted, not game consoles or new bikes, just time and attention from me or someone else. That's what he remembered more than anything. It sounds like you're doing fine. Don't be too critical of yourself. If your child knows they are loved, then you're a successful parent.
Needchange1111 · 22-25, F
@Richard65 thank you! Yeah I really enjoy playing with him - so many people tell me I need to encourage him to play independently etc but regardless of anything else - why would I not want to be sat on the floor pretending to be ‘mummy monster’ to make that little man cry of laughter?
Richard65 · M
@Needchange1111 exactly. I don’t know why people say that, why would a mum not want to bond through play? Your child wants you there and your love and attention are exactly what a child needs. I know that because enough children have actually told me. I've got the information right from them. The fact you cared enough to write this post tells me you have it right. Enjoy being mummy monster!
FORMERLYbatovn · 61-69, M
In 15 or 20 years he's not going to remember the toys you bought, he's not going to remember the clothes that you bought him he's going to remember that you worked hard to give him everything possible, he's going to remember the times that you spent with him and the memories that he has of your conversations and playing with him and spending time with him and teaching him and helping him to grow and learn. That is being the best mom possible. Too many kids are raised with a lack of love in the lack of proper discipline and attention by their parents. If you give him that, you will be the best mom possible
Get him out of the house for a while, too. It doesn't have to be some huge gesture. Go for a walk with him and let him see things like leaves, especially with them turning and falling at this time of year. Go to the park and play on the swings etc... you'll probably still have to hold him on the equipment at that age, but it could still be fun.

There's also the airport or train station where you can show him trains and planes coming in and going out. With Halloween and Christmas coming, too, these might be good times to get out depending on where you are.

He can see others dressed in their Halloween costumes, or maybe you could dress him up, too, even if you don't go trick or treating, it's a photo op for you - and maybe see a Christmas Parade, or at least the lights being switched on.
Needchange1111 · 22-25, F
@HootyTheNightOwl we love going walks! He is so nosy so enjoys people watching lol.

I have a DIY Mickey Mouse costume for Halloween this year. My family have said he’s too young to take out but I think he will love it. Thank you for taking the time to reply to me - I appreciate it ❤
@Needchange1111 Sometimes, it's not about doing things that HE will remember... it's about creating memories for YOU - so that you have something to tell him about when he gets older.

You're his mother, you know what's best for him... and, if you want to take him out, you take him out. You'll more than likely enjoy going out with him more than you would sitting at home, answering the door.

Lol, I don't celebrate Halloween - yet, I still enjoy going out when I can, just to see the children in their costumes (I live in an area that used to be strictly for elderly and disabled people... and children are taught not to knock on our doors).
HumanEarth · 56-60, F
Less time on electronics more time with human contact. Like bann all cellphones, tablets, computers and televisions for the next 40 years
Needchange1111 · 22-25, F
@HumanEarth yeah I’m very much of the opinion that he’ll have no tablets/ phones for as long as possible however I do let him watch tv now and then 🫣
@Needchange1111 bluey rachel ryan mickey is all fine in moderation thats why theyre all so short
HumanEarth · 56-60, F
@Needchange1111

Its okay, I had television in the 1970s and 1980s and look how screwed up I became. I'm on here ain't I
cd4259 · 61-69, M
Just be there as much as you can be, love him but don't spoil him. Don't give into social norms of giving him everything except your love.
Needchange1111 · 22-25, F
@cd4259 to be honest all I have to give him just now is my love and I feel like we’ve got closer because of that
cd4259 · 61-69, M
@Needchange1111 that really is all a child needs and an average ( but awesome parent) can give them
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
The answer is simple and doesnt take a lot of money. You will put your life on hold for the next 20 years and always be in his life. Just always be there. You wont always be there when they skin their knees or have a tummy ache. Just never let them feel like they are alone when it happens. Do that alone and you will make mother of the year..😷
Needchange1111 · 22-25, F
@whowasthatmaskedman thank you. It’s crazy how much you can love someone that’s only been in your life a year, I wish I could go into his mind and make him understand how loved he is lol
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
@Needchange1111 And thats exactly what you will be doing. You are the filter and the lens through which he will see and understand the world. And a child you will be his Superwoman. Able to perform miracles.😷
Oh, geez. Such a difficult question. I mean, not really, so long as what you're typing is accurate and I'm reading it correctly. If such is the case, you're being a wonderful mom. The future is not known, so you won't know what the best choice will be. But you're making great choices now because you're living in the moment. And don't worry about using the TV to help you when you're over stressed. You don't seem to rely on it too much. So keep up the great work.
GuyWithOpinions · 31-35, M
Be the mom you wish you had.
By wanting to be a good mom, means your a good mom. Don't worry about stuff and as far as tv/electronics, school will have him on those eventually anyway. Do your best and be good to yourself. Your child will show you how wonderful you are along the way.
Bluedreamz · 26-30, F
It sounds like youre doing an amazing job sp far. The more time you do it, the more it adds to you
Patriot96 · 56-60, C
Just continue doing what you are doing.
Hold, him, hug him, tell him you love him
1490wayb · 56-60, M
you are doing a wonderful job!!

 
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