@St0ut Thanks for sharing your experience. IVF does affect your marriage with all the emotions that come with it. My relationship with my husband has not been affected - thank God but I think it is more me that is feeling the emotional effects of the IVF. It's hard to deny a woman the opportunity to create her own family. If you do it, it may affect your relationship because of how taxing IVF is and if you don't it still affects your relationship. Either way, it does affect it your marriage. If you are successful with the IVF, it can make your relationship closer and if it doesn't, it may still bring you closer. I think its worth just 1 try. If you can both agree to do it once, then its worth a go.

@NYBagels The IVF was half of the decision that I made before as of now the other half was I still had to be a dad of two kids I divorced The IVF was half of the decision that I made before seven the other half was I still had to be a dad of two kids I divorced her mom thier mom not them.

I couldn’t tell my kids that he I can’t get to the soccer game because I have to watch the baby or I can’t go on the campout for scouting because I have to watch the baby that’s not fair to the kids

@HannibalAteMeOut Thanks for your reply. Before i started IVF, i thought it was something easy like some medical procedure you do like a simple mammogram. I thought it was not a big deal although the procedure is scary. The hard part of it is not the injections but the emotional roller coaster that you go through. It comes to a point where you just become a zombie and do what needs to be done just to go through it. Surrogacy is as expensive as the IVF.

@NYBagels it's logical for you to be going through a hard time, it's a huge risk and it gets you tired both emotionaly and financially. Personally I'd have adoption as the first option but I can understand it's not what some people want.

@ABCDEF7 Thanks for your insight. At this point, i feel like I don't know what i want. I think inside I am angry and bitter but I do not know how to let it out because I am afraid that I may be slipping into a black hole and may not be able to pull myself together. I feel like I do not have the time to feel sorry for myself or process my disappointment.

{{hugs}} @NYBagels Sometimes we keep searching for happiness in the things & people. But we don't understand the real happiness is within us. We can't be happy unless we feel to be happy. And one can choose to be happy in whatever circumstances they are. You can find a persons to be happy even if they are not having wealth, or if they are not having a child, or even if someone is not having limbs or eyesight. Similarly you can find people to be disappointed/depressed/etc even if they are having everything in their life.

The HAPPIEST People DO NOT Necessarily have "BEST" THINGS in Life, They Simply APPRECIATE the Things They Have.

This article may help you look yourself and your problems in a different manner.
https://similarworlds.com/5944873-I-Believe-Life-Is-a-Life-Long-Lesson/1786938-Meditation-is-Experience-Experiencing-who-you