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Do I tell the kids

That their mother is getting married this weekend and is pregnant. I only found out from a old friend.
DrWatson · 70-79, M
I would tell them that someone told you she was getting married. (So that if it does happen, they will not be shocked)

As for the pregnancy, I assume the consequences of that will eventually come to light, and I would deal with that as your kids learn about it.

My reasoning is that you don't want to come across to your kids as a gossiper or as someone who is bad-mouthing their mother.
@DrWatson This.
Mbingh01 · 61-69, F
@DrWatson good answer!
DrWatson · 70-79, M
@Mbingh01 Thank you.
BecaA57 · 61-69, F
Depends on their relationship with their mom. Guessing if they don't know that it isn't good. Also depends on how they would react to that news
BecaA57 · 61-69, F
@Cigarguy101 Those are rough ages for that kind of news. How have they handled her leaving?
Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M
@BecaA57 at time's my boy is sad. He misses his mom. My daughter is very angry with her and wants to know why she left us.
BecaA57 · 61-69, F
@Cigarguy101 Then I don't think you should tell them about her marriage and especially that she is pregnant, would just be another case of her leaving them
That’s a tough one. If it’s 100% for certain, I’d tell them. If you still need to confirm the truth of it, I’d wait.

I grew up with a lot of hard truths. Some were hidden from me, some were revealed when I was ‘old enough to handle it’….I’ve come to learn that when we just explain things naturally early on, it’s much easier to handle than to present it as some big dark secret later on, or a surprise. No one wants surprised with that sort of stuff.

Best wishes
Mbingh01 · 61-69, F
I am glad the kids have you. They are so young and may have trouble understanding it. Let her be the bad guy( which she already has proven she is) Let them find out from someone else because they are so young. God bless you all.
Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M
@Mbingh01 I just worry if I don't tell them and they find out they'll be mad at me.
akindheart · 61-69, F
please stay out of it. your intentions will be misunderstood. let her be the bad guy
akindheart · 61-69, F
@Cigarguy101 dont be the one to tell them. you asked for advice. that is mine.
Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M
@akindheart give me a good reason why as their father I should not tell them about this
akindheart · 61-69, F
@Cigarguy101 why? because it needs to come from their mother. period.
smiler2012 · 56-60
@Cigarguy101 i would find how true what your source has told you first . if it is right well i think they they are entitled too know about it . a thing i am wondering why has she kept this secret from her own kids and not invited them to the wedding . they may be thrilled to hear they are going too have another sibling a little brother or sister
Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M
@smiler2012 she wasn't attempting to contract us since November. I have no clue what the right answer is here. I'm guessing there isn't one.
smiler2012 · 56-60
@Cigarguy101 no maybe not but how do you think the kids might feel when they find out. i know it is a difficult call and i am not been critical of your decision you are right it is far from easy
smiler2012 · 56-60
@Cigarguy101 no maybe not but how do you think the kids might feel when they find out. i know it is a difficult call and i am not been critical of your decision you are right it is far from easy
JustJan · F
if your on speaking terms ask if her she is letting them know, are they invited, (they may have been invited and don't want too uset you),
Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M
@JustJan they were not invited. Infact their mother wasn't spoken to them since November of last year. Not even a text message
Barefooter25 · 46-50, M
I would wait until you have further information. No need to upset your kids if they are distant from her.
robertsnj · 56-60, M
@Cigarguy101 no wrong answer but how would the children benefit from accruing that information?
Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M
@robertsnj I don't know. I never thought she'd ghost her own kids. So I don't know what to do
Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M
What good does it do them to know ?
Besides it's not your news to give.
I would let her tell them, and if she doesnt...... well, then they werent meant to know.
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Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M
@OldMan70 I am their father
I wouldn't, not if she abandoned them like you've said
hippyjoe1955 · 61-69, M
Let their mother inform the kids if she wants.
likesnatural · 70-79, M
It is mom's responsibility to tell them.
ronisme1 · 61-69, M
No, they will find out on their own
Let them enjoy the new home.
Muthafukajones · 46-50, M

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