People & Family > Family

Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Is it healthy to still love your ex?

You're not *in love* anymore but you know that deep down you love them, and it's mutual.

You wish them peace and you help them when they need it yet keep a safe distance.

Is indifference even a legit option?

Because it seems too ideal to be true.

Top | Newest First | Oldest First

SnowedIn · 46-50, M Best Comment

Yes ... if it isn't interfering with current relationship or life, yes.

SnowedIn · 46-50, M

@SW-User ...thank you for bc!

CookieCrumbs · F

I believe that you don’t really stop loving those you truly loved. I know this from personal experience. It may be different for others, though.

If it was not an abusive relationship, and maybe you separated due to irreconcilable differences, it is still possible to maintain the caring friendship.

View 1 more replies »

NewMan2015 · 36-40, M

@CookieCrumbs Couldn’t say it better. I’m still friends with my last ex. The breakup sucked but not because of fighting or abuse. Unfortunately as great as we click in most regards, we’re too mentally broken and have kids with troublesome ex-spouses that affect what we can and can’t do. Still love her dearly as a friend, but I’m not in love with her anymore. She knows I’m here if she needs help. And I know she’s there when she can be.

CookieCrumbs · F

@SW-User
You can’t stop caring, but you’ve reached the point of acceptance that you can’t be together either. And know that it is better that way.

SW-User

Very true @CookieCrumbs

Teggy

Every one of my ex’s I will always love to a degree. I’m with you on this. I don’t want to be with them or care to know anything about their current lives either but I do wish them joy, peace and goodness all around.

I’ll never forget the bonds I’ve made with each and everyone of them. The good memories and times shared together.

It’s one thing to love and another to be in love with.

SW-User

[quote]It’s one thing to love and another to be in love with.[/quote]
Most definitely.
It can be difficult to get over the confusion but once you get past that point, the difference becomes crystal clear
@Teggy

SW-User

I have their bodies buried somewhere...um ...I mean ...yes ..I love them ...* laughs nervously * 😬

Ozymandiaz

I still love my ex. I would give her a kidney if she asked. I am not in love with her though. she is still one of the best people I have ever met and one of the most important people in my life.

BlueVeins · 22-25

I don't think you can ever truly be healthy in life without at least one crusty, hole-ridden picture of your ex hung up on your wall. That's true love.

DrWatson · 70-79, M

It can be a lot healthier than maintaining animosity and holding onto resentment. Resentment can eat [i]you[/i] up inside; love won't.

(I do understand that some exes are really despicable, and what you call too ideal really won't happen, but that is not always the case.)

SW-User

Agreed. Indifference would be perfect
But you can’t just block out all the memories and abolish the years spent a.k.a your life
@DrWatson

Bleak · 36-40, F

It can be healthy if you both know your limitations and responsibilities.

Afterall Love is something you can’t forcefully pull it out of your heart.

View 1 more replies »

Bleak · 36-40, F

@SW-User 💕💕

Magenta · F

@Bleak Indeed.
I get annoyed at these cliché's that get tossed around.. "move on / get over it". BS. We can't force love either way.

Bleak · 36-40, F

@Magenta Precisely.

whisperingwillow · 36-40, F

When you give someone your heart, you never truly get it back. I think it’s perfectly normal and healthy to always care for those we once cared for so deeply.

SW-User

Very well-said @whisperingwillow

Canuckle · 51-55, M

I’ve always felt that the phrase “Love will never die” has truth to it.

helenS · 36-40, F

@Canuckle And why should it! Love is less exclusive than some may think it is.

Disgustedman · 61-69, M

I can assure you that it's okay to love and like your ex. My sister had divorced hers after nearly 12 years of marriage due to alcohol. But she forgave him and she several times had parties with him invited along with his new wife.

That's being the forgiving person and they really had a good time which was very surprising.

SW-User

That sounds like the definition of both inner & outer peace @Disgustedman

deadteddy · 26-30, F

You can love someone yet not be [i]in love[/i] with them.

BeefySenpie · M

Only if it was a mutual decision to end things. If you ended it but still love them, then you're probably romanticising things when you were clearly tired of them for one reason or another. If they ended it, then you shouldn't love someone who didn't see your value

SW-User

Yes. That's a valid distinction @BeefySenpie

Juvia · 18-21, F

I'm still friends and care about several of mine.
Love comes in many different forms.
So yes I do love them to some degree.
I have a very good bond with one of them and he's been my biggest supporter even through miscarriage.
He even took care of me when I was pregnant and had no one. He's amazing.

helenS · 36-40, F

I never stopped loving my ex lovers. I'm on best terms with almost all of them, we exchange letters, and I sometimes visit one of them to find out about their present situation and feelings. I stay away from those who are now married.

Piper · 61-69, F

I know that it [b]can[/b] be, anyway. Although I can't claim indifference about any of the men I was in a 'romantic' sort of relationship with, I've never stopped loving and respecting one of them. We've never lost touch, and speak with each other fairly often.

SW-User

I personally don’t see anything wrong with it. There is a difference between in love, and love. I think it shows maturity to love and wish them a great life even though it didn’t work out as a romantic relationship.

SW-User

I think its okay. I love someone I no longer speak to and I'll always love him. If he needed help tomorrow and called me I'd help him.

PhilDeep · 51-55, M

If it was true love, it will continue, albeit with far less intensity, even if the relationship effectively ends, in my opinion.

bijouxbroussard · F

It depends on what you loved about them in the first place, imo. I only fell in love once more, years after I was widowed. The things I loved about that man were real, he is a good person, but ultimately we were better off just being friends. So I still wish him well, I wouldn’t feel indifferent if anything bad happened to him.

DrWatson · 70-79, M

@bijouxbroussard I know a couple who are going through something similar, but after years of marriage. As she puts it, "We are ending the marriage to preserve the friendship."

Katie01 · F

It's very healthy. If anything, it's not healthy to live your life actively disliking them. I'm still very close friends with most of my exes and my boyfriend loves them all

RoxClymer · 41-45, M

still loving your ex is natural, Realizing Why they are your ex is Healthy, doing the same thing all over again, expecting a different result is the definition of insanity.

IamBack · 31-35, M

Tough question my friend, but we have to move on for our own sake 🤷🏻‍♂️

I think feelings may become less intense (and that’s essential for our survival) but they will never really go away 🤷🏻‍♂️

Jackaloftheazuresand · 26-30, M

I don't think so, how do you give all of yourself when you still think about all the good times and how great of a team you were

SW-User

Then what's the alternative in your opinion @Jackaloftheazuresand

Jackaloftheazuresand · 26-30, M

@SW-User I don't think you get one. You either pass or fail

Lyfis2live

There is a difference between a calculating machine and a human.
Health resides mainly in perspectives and healthy limits show radiance on all faces.

nameless1 · 36-40

I will always love my ex. But we can't repair what has been done so he will always be an ex. And it sucks so badly.

SW-User

I can relate @nameless1

SW-User

Why does it have to be love or hate ? Can't I just be indifferent?

SW-User

That’s part of the question. To me personally it is ideal but far fetched @SW-User

SW-User

@SW-User It's a choice . Why waste time on loving someone who doesn't love you back? I'll stick with indifference.

SW-User

Wish I could choose or at least learn to do so @SW-User

AtticEscapee · F

Of course, it is a matter of choice. I prefer to cut all ties and be 💯 done with them especially if they dump me.

NerdyPotato · M

That's very healthy. Hating their guts is going to consume you more than them.

SW-User

It may cause problems with your or their partners.

Best to move on.

Iameantobe · 36-40, M

Every morning i wake up with that feeling. Hope it changes some day.

FatherTime · 61-69, M

I know the feeling all too well and I hate it

YukikoAmagi

[c=359E00]i can't resist to post this
[media=https://youtu.be/7pOr3dBFAeY]

Lol sorry 🙏[/c]

NotSureAboutMyUserName · 31-35, M

I don't have an Ex.

basilfawlty89 · 31-35, M

I think it's fine to still care about them as a person, especially if the breakup wasn't acrimonious. If it just didn't work out, but there's no ill will, I see no reason why there can't be friendships.

This comment is hidden. Show Comment

View 1 more replies »

This comment is hidden. Show Comment

SW-User

That’s the right attitude 👍🏽 @Darksideinthenight2

This comment is hidden. Show Comment

Add a comment...