do you believe some people are just not met to be in relationships? am I one of them?

My parents divorce 4 months (in 1987) after I was born and were always fighting until my father passed away in 2003

I started watching porn when I was 6

grew up with male siblings who made poor choices with women

always been a drama queen magnet

I only had one relationship in my life and it was short and not meaningful

I been frequent strip clubs since I was 18

all the sexual stuff I do 90% of the time is either with strippers or other sex workers

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Xalvadora · 18-21, F

I believe that I'm not meant for relationships. Hell, I'm probably going to be like my mother how she was in high school. I'm in college. Since my 18th birthday, I put myself out there online just to have sex with men because I'm legally allowed to. Growing up, I was hit with insecurities.
In middle school and high school, my mom was a player. She had three guys tied on her finger. One of them, she didn't have sex with, yet he was deeply in love with her.
My ass is chatting with three different men and I'm serious about them. I've known one since I was 12 and the other two for a little over a year now.
The reason why I think that I'm not meant to be in a relationship is because I lack emotion. I've been hurt for nearly a decade and I have a slow reaction to some or most things. I did have a girlfriend, but I broke up with her because her mother called the police on me, a then 13 year old, telling them I was a pedophile. My girlfriend was 12. The only relationship I have been in.
I don't know what to do in a relationship besides make out and fuck. I think that's the first steps in getting into a relationship, then it grows.

I've been humping pillows since I was 5. How can I not think about sex if my future lover hugs me or kiss me? Even though that's not what all I want in the relationship.
I'm the oldest out of my siblings.
I'm scared of being in a relationship and not being there emotionally for my lover. I've suffered so much to the point where I have a slow reaction time...

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Xalvadora · 18-21, F

@akshamaeh7331 Women can be players too, dude. Not everything has to be gender-coded. Not my fault that you grew up thinking everything's gender-coded. Don't take this as me defending my mother, because I can care less what people call her.
Women can be anything men can be. We have women as electricians, carpenters, working in warehouses, mechanics, heck even own a business.
Women can be pimps as well. You don't have to be so double standard and sexist.

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LordShadowfire ·

@akshamaeh7331 I'd love to help you make your other side hurt. Or maybe your mouth.