My mothers tries to control everything i do and can't take it if i say no or i don't do what she wants and gets mean.

For example : If i say i want to join fitness classes soon she searches yoga classes for me without my permission, then if i say i am not interested in yoga, she can't take it and tries to convince and force me and even gets mean. I wanted other fitness classes since i wasn't into yoga. She says my choices are waste.

She does same with my studies, she forces me to do what she wants me to do instead of helping me or letting me do what i want and can't take it if i can't or won't do what she expects. She doesn't appreciate what i do or what i want to do. And she can't tolerate if i do any mistakes or ask her anything wrong, she thinks/says i am so dumb to be good at anything.

She says she does it for my good, but i feel controlled, pulled back and trapped instead of helped, guided or uplifted.

I really dislike her behavior, she is very controlling and mean even if she provides me with money when i need.

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AliyaNahid · 26-30, F

Your mom is amazing that she is putting you through classes or courses, many kids put themselves through college or any courses. I can't get over the fact that she loves you. If you don't like as you are not into yoga, get on up and say frankly that you can't take it. Kindly guide her that she is wasting money if she puts you through yoga classes. Most importantly, you will pull off all challenges in your life , trust me, but make sure not to be broken in sth which is not your type. Yoga only helps mental health enrichment That is it. However, if you do any exercise that has been way helpful whether fitness classes or any other workout. Think it through before putting your toes in the water. If she tries to dump things on you. Don't take it all in. Let go of it. Have a great day

megrose · 56-60, F

Sounds like she is a narcissist . There are some really good videos on Youtube to help you learn how to deal with and understand these people. You may have to live with her for now so the wiser you become navigating the situation the better it will be for your mental health

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@megrose I don't think youtube helps than talking the actual therapist or counsellor.

I am just right now trying to stay away in my own room away from her toxic influence on me.

megrose · 56-60, F

@sahi81 ok. If you have money for a therapist thats great. But if not, information is power. There is a lot of empowering info for whoever wants it.

Jillette · 46-50, F

At your age she should respect your independent choices.

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@Jillette she was like that since when i was kid, i wanted one dress for my birthday, she says it's not good, forcefully buys me other. Joined me many hobbies classes at once (karate, staking, maths, swimming, singing, dancing , etc), i was given no time to play like other kids when i was a kid and beat me when I said I don't want to join those because I wasn't interested, forcefully put me into them.

I wanted to join art class, she said it's waste and not good but still payed money for it though because i kept asking her many times.

She was and still is very aggressive and mean when I don't do things or join things she expects me to😭

I hated her behaviour even as a kid. What gives her right to force her wishes on her children. She over-stresses me to do over-work.

I want to get job soon and not be around her anymore.

Jillette · 46-50, F

@sahi81 I am so sorry about this. I think many parents have a problem with understanding that their child has grown up and reached a point where he or she has become an adult, is a completely separate person with different tastes and wants. I went through similar things and I think you have to aim to get away and be more independent as soon as a chance comes up.

SlaveEt · 36-40, F

Then stop taking her money and stop putting up with her BS. Problem solved.

TigerLili · 46-50, FVIP

Narcissist

NativePortlander1970

Tell her that You are an adult over the age of 21, and if she doesn't like it, to stuff it. As for money, get off your butt and get a job, $7.25 an hour is better than $0.00 an hour.

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@NativePortlander1970 i am trying, i am applying for my masters in other country just to stay away from BS at home. I am also trying to gain different skills to apply for job in future soon. After my masters, my job opporunities might increase.

NativePortlander1970

@sahi81 Good

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