My mothers tries to control everything i do and can't take it if i say no or i don't do what she wants and gets mean.

For example : If i say i want to join fitness classes soon she searches yoga classes for me without my permission, then if i say i am not interested in yoga, she can't take it and tries to convince and force me and even gets mean. I wanted other fitness classes since i wasn't into yoga. She says my choices are waste.

She does same with my studies, she forces me to do what she wants me to do instead of helping me or letting me do what i want and can't take it if i can't or won't do what she expects. She doesn't appreciate what i do or what i want to do. And she can't tolerate if i do any mistakes or ask her anything wrong, she thinks/says i am so dumb to be good at anything.

She says she does it for my good, but i feel controlled, pulled back and trapped instead of helped, guided or uplifted.

I really dislike her behavior, she is very controlling and mean even if she provides me with money when i need.

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LadyGrace ·

And do you live with her?

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@LadyGrace yes, i am trying to move out

LadyGrace ·

@sahi81 well I'm so so sorry to say this but a narcissism is a mental illness and they are very strong-willed and you will have to make a plan and actually sneak away. You are under narcissistic control and abuse so you must leave without her knowing it or your plans. That is imperative!

LadyGrace ·

@sahi81 How will you get out if you cannot even save your money? Do you have a job?

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@LadyGrace i am trying to improve my skills to get job... and also applying for my masters somewhere else to live somewhere else. I think masters might help me get more job oppurtuinities and skills. She is willing to pay for me to live where i study and also for my studies

LadyGrace ·

@sahi81 That sounds like a good out, but never think she's doing it for you. She's doing it for herself because she still in control and she wants to stay in control by knowing where you are and what you're doing and everything else but use it to your advantage and get away. How soon can you do that?

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@LadyGrace an year to move out to study somewhere else... and more 1 or 2 or more years to find a job ( finding job is uncertain, i hope i can find it in just an year).

LadyGrace ·

@sahi81 you really cannot continue like this honey. You must get away from her. If you have any relatives you could stay with, please do. She cannot force you to come back to live with her. This is for your own mental health.

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@LadyGrace she doesn't force me to live with her... just tries to make choices for me which i find suffocating and effecting me emotionally and mentally. Yes, i should take my well-being seriously and try to find a job as soon as possible.

I lock myself in my own room, she let me be. I don't interact with her much even in same house.

LadyGrace ·

@sahi81 She doesn't have to force you to live with her. You already do so she's happy she's in control. Just the fact that you feel you have to lock yourself in your own room so you can just be yourself, is very telling that she is abusive. I think she will put up a fight if you want to get a job cuz that's something she can't control but we'll see. She'll want to pick it out for you and tell you where to work and everything else and she may even discourage you from doing it, giving any excuse why you shouldn't.

Adidas11 · 41-45, M

@LadyGrace They are not as strong willed as they project. On a blue moon, I can get into their room, tie them while they are sleeping and then pluck out their teeth one by one with a plier and then, I will know how strong willed they are.