Will I regret this later?

The lawyer called today and asked if my husband and I had any final discussion before the hearing.

We didn’t. Neither of us reached out, and the last time we spoke was about three months ago.

I never asked for anything in the divorce settlement. More than anything, I just wanted it to be over and to have some peace.

Close friends and family have asked why I didn’t ask for anything to compensate for the time, effort, and sacrifices. I honestly don’t know. Right now, I’m just hoping to close this chapter with as little bitterness as possible 🩶

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MizzO · 36-40, F

I did things your way. They were right. You should have asked. Not out of bitterness, not because you should make him honor you in some way, but because the reality is that life after divorce is a completely different experience and it's going to take quite a bit of time and money to acclamate to the loss. Much more than many people anticipate during the process. If you can and it's not to late, you should ask for something. Even a small stipulation would go along way. But hopefully your ex is not as mean spirited as mine became. After divorce it felt like he was a completely different person. One I had never known.

BetweenLines · 36-40, F

@MizzO I moved out from the house for almost 2 years now. So far, I am doing ok. We don’t have kids and I am earning. The divorce became messy because his sisters are getting too involved with the divorce and financial matters. They even asked for the gifts he gave me.. which I have no problems giving back. This process is so tiring😣

MizzO · 36-40, F

@BetweenLines indeed. I'm glad to here that your doing ok for the most part. Took 2-3 years for us to sell our home because he continuously delayed the process. Hope that it ends

BetweenLines · 36-40, F

@MizzO Part of the reason why I stayed for 10 years was this. I was saving up financially, at the same time trying to save the marriage… but eventually it collapsed. Hope all is good with you now 🩷

twistedrope · 26-30, M

Some men are quite toxic. They will say "I'm moving on and won't talk about my ex." soon before talking shit about them to everyone they know. It's not safe to be without friends because of that.

Divorces are hard but end. Seperation is harder. You aren't wrong for not asking, but not asking can be problematic. Mskes judgement difficult in court when the partner can be seen as intimidating or something.

Imo, sign your name to the letter of the law and go for 50/50 or... If that's not available be sure I suppose.

But I could be wrong. I'm just making assumptions. I hope it all goes well and you end up mentally healthy after this. Divorces aren't fair, they're full of harrassment and rule breaking at the best of times, outright physical abuse at the worst. I hope you are prepared.

TheOneyouwerewarnedabout · 46-50, MVIP

I gave her my half of everything.
Cleanest getaway in history

Magicianzini · M

Wow, why did he let you go ..

BetweenLines · 36-40, F

@Magicianzini Ikr? His loss...😎 😬

Magicianzini · M

@BetweenLines Seems like it.

Strictmichael75 · 61-69, M

Think carefully
Look ar it from all angles

Make notes and see what comes up

BE PREPARED

He might be doing the same

faery · F

It's possible that you'd have regrets either way. The future is unpredictable. But, as long as you have the means to take care of yourself, there's a high enough probability that you won't have regrets over your decision to not seek compensation.

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