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Heartbreaking

I'm visiting my dad and he hasn't had any food or drink all day. I tried to give water , he took two sips and yelled I want to rest! He's in hospice with aggressive Lymphoma cancer. This is awful. He looked at me for ten seconds and said oh it's cold out? And fell right to sleep. He has never slept this much, even at the hospital. The cancer is making him so fatigued.

I know in another few days he probably won't reply at all. I'm mad and sad. I'm scared. He's only 72 it's not fair. I wish we could watch the movie I brought like we used to..but I have a feeling he'll be sleeping my whole visit. It really is the small thing like a movie and just talking to someone we take for granted. I would give anything to have him be awake again, watching tv with me. 😞
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I'm sorry you're goi g through that. It's difficult to watch.

Often, people near the end feel more comfortable when they don't eat or drink. The hospice workers should have explained this.
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
The moving finger writes, and having writ, moves on. Sad as it is we dont get to undo anything we previously did. This is where you and your father are now. The best you can do is be with him in the way he wishes for as long as you both can. This phase is about him. After that, what you have is the knowledge you did everything you could in these moments. That has to be enough..😷
RosaMarie · 46-50, F
I'm so sorry for your situation. This breaks me heart. I know there's not a positive outcome to wish for, so I'll wish for you to have the strength to manage this as best you can. Keeping you in my thoughts.
Cigarguy · 41-45, M
He knows your their that is what matters. Just the movie on even if he's sleeping. Just be there with him
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Cigarguy Thank you 😟
FrugalNoodle · 46-50, M
The staff aren't doing their job it seems, I would wish there's somebody who should know about that that could improve the situation :( Hang in there my friend. 🫂
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@FrugalNoodle It sucks that hospice really doesn't come much I think on weekends. But shouldn't main staff at the home be monitoring it? When I called 911 for him a month ago they were saying he was just tired. He had actual pneumonia 🙁
FrugalNoodle · 46-50, M
@Coralmist I'm just grasping at straws here, but i'm thinking there's such poor service is because of cutbacks on certain funding that used to be, but no longer is so that an immune and untrained group can go to states that voted blue. 😔
Try to live in the moment, and cherish each moment you have together and commit it to your memory. Keep him as comfortable as you can. Now its all about pain management!
Musicman · 61-69, M
I took care of my dad when he had cancer. When cancer came back they put my dad in hospice. The first week he was his normal self. The second week he slowed way down. The third week he was bed ridden. The second day of the fourth week he was gone. When they stop eating and drinking it is almost over. I am so sorry you are having to go through this. 😢💔
Musicman · 61-69, M
@Coralmist He got a pimple on his jaw. We didn't think anything of it. Then he got a second and a third. The doctor tested them. They were cancerous. In two weeks they grew in size and turned into 22 pimples with the largest being the size of a nickel. ☹
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Musicman Melanoma?
Musicman · 61-69, M
@Coralmist Yes ☹
Pretzel · 70-79, M
This will be the toughest thing you may ever have to do - but you'll not regret doing everything you can for him.

Play a movie - one that he might like - and watch it with him. You'll have not way of knowing how much he is aware of.
FreeorLonely · 51-55, F
I’m sorry, so hard to watch the dad you grew up with disappear. 🤗.
FreeSpirit1 · 51-55, F
All you can do now is let him know you love him, even if his eyes are closed, keep talking, he hears you

 
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