Oh honey that's really rough. I'm so sorry you're going through this and have to deal with this every single day. A person can only do so much and though we would like to do so much more, as you mentioned, when no one is willing to help themselves, what can you really do? They have put themselves in a terrible position. You can be supportive, yet not ruin your own health. They're going to have to learn the hard way that they can't continue to abuse their own selves. We're not meant to put our own health at risk. Right now your plate is overflowing and I'm sure it's been that way for many years. Try to just do what you can and the rest, let the Lord have. I'm sure he understands you've done the very best you can. Love, hugs, and prayers are coming your way. You are to be commended for trying. Only superhumans could possibly handle something like that, and we're just not made that way. You need a break. Is there some way that they would qualify for free housekeeping provided by Medicare? Please take care of yourself. ❤🫂🙏🙏🙏🫂🫂

You’re in a very tough spot, no doubt. Kinda sounds like they’ve given up on themselves and life. Guess the question I’d ask myself if I were in your shoes is, if God forbid they were gone from this earth tomorrow, could I peacefully live with the decisions I’ve made regarding how I cared for them. I don’t really see your feelings as right or wrong as your situation seems far from black and white. It’s a matter of being okay with whatever it is you decide to do.

I'm sorry I genuinely relate to this. My wife's father has severe COPD and has been in hospital for the past month and a half because of his own boneheaded decisions despite all family and medical advice.

However, my wife has built a lot of her life around supporting her parents and her poor mom has genuinely done her best living with a very difficult man. So we're supporting them and I get why we are.

You do not have an obligation though. Like COPD that early on is pretty horrifying.

I don’t think anyone can give you an answer and ignore the comments trying to make you feel bad.
I have my mum living with me otherwise she’d be homeless. It’s been hard as she was abusive to me and kicked me out at 17. She gambled away her own money and continued to smoked after being diagnosed with COPD.
That said I don’t see at as a long term solution. I think whatever you decide just try to be sure it’s not something you’ll regret later because once they’re gone there’s no going back. I just try to remember that there’s probably reasons she is like this that I’ll never understand. It’s really frustrating to see someone self destruct and have to financially and emotionally pick up the pieces for them.

Obligated, sounds like I have to do this because they did this. Hardly ever relevant to h7man relationships.

Caring for me is relevant. I’ll care for the people who, however they did it, made the effort to assist me to gain independence of them.

Now I have choice as to whether I’ll care for them or indeed, if I’ll care for anyone.

I have that choice and everyone else has that choice.

Good luck in your choosing.

I believe you are to care for those who cannot. If your Family members are causing more issues with addictions etc then you may want to also consider some intervention methods to guide them into a recovery mindset.

Considering these people have cared for you since you were born, you absolutely are obligated to care for them.

It’s not for you to judge them, just to be there for them through what comes next.

Healthy people get ill and die all the time, it’s not for you to apportion blame. How much of your personality would you shed for a few extra years?

Stop finding excuses to dodge or delegate the difficulties that come next. Be there for the people you owe so much.

I realize you’re all up in the here and now but try to imagine your life without them. Cherish them while you have them .

Sounds like they arent doing much to better their own situation. I would probably sit down with them and have a talk. I will help you, but, you also need to help yourself. It is a two way street.

Don't let them guilt you. Money? "Sorry, my car is in the shop.". Take care of yourself. Let your sister support them.

I absolutely understand where you're coming from. I've felt that way myself.

It’s so difficult 😞 and your not wrong

It’s not a matter of obligation. It’s a matter of kindness and generosity, especially since they gave you life.

But nobody can stop you from being mean-spirited and selfish. That’s all on you.

Unconditional love is awfully hard to come by these days.

Did they care for you when you were little?

Unless they abused you it's your turn to take care of them

@brainrapist
So who is going to bury them? Cremation is a lot cheaper.

Shows a clash of cultures. In older China, siblings would compete for the honor of caring for their elders. In America, old people worry about being a burden on their kids.