Upset
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Unpopular opinion? Am I wrong?

I should not feel obligated to care for my parents - physically, emotionally, and financially.

My parents are now both in their early to mid 60s, and both are in (what I would consider) poor health. Both of my parents have been smoking for nearly 50 years now. My father was diagnosed with COPD nearly 10 years ago (if not longer), and refuses to quit smoking. He also has high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and anxiety/depression. He will take the medications that he’s prescribed, but he will not make any lifestyle changes and refuses further testing suggested by his doctors because he “doesn’t want to know if he’s dying”. I’m sure my mother has COPD too. She’s out of breath just from walking short distances, almost constantly has a cough, and also refuses to quit smoking. She’s severely underweight. I’m talking like 85 pounds max.

Neither of them is nor ever has been financially stable. My dad used to own a painting business, and did very well for himself, but then he hit a very obvious mid-life crisis and all of that went down the drain. My mom doesn’t even live paycheck to paycheck - constantly asking for money for either myself or my sister.

I really do try to be supportive of my parents, but it’s extremely hard when neither of them does anything to help themselves. I suggest quitting smoking, eating healthier, exercising, seeing the doctor regularly. They never do it. My mom won’t stop enabling my brother who’s nearly 30 and she still takes care of and financially drains her.

It’s exhausting to have your own shit and then to be guilted into caring for someone else, especially when they don’t seem to give a damn about themselves or their children watching their parent deteriorate.

Alright, rant over. It’s been a rough morning.
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Oh honey that's really rough. I'm so sorry you're going through this and have to deal with this every single day. A person can only do so much and though we would like to do so much more, as you mentioned, when no one is willing to help themselves, what can you really do? They have put themselves in a terrible position. You can be supportive, yet not ruin your own health. They're going to have to learn the hard way that they can't continue to abuse their own selves. We're not meant to put our own health at risk. Right now your plate is overflowing and I'm sure it's been that way for many years. Try to just do what you can and the rest, let the Lord have. I'm sure he understands you've done the very best you can. Love, hugs, and prayers are coming your way. You are to be commended for trying. Only superhumans could possibly handle something like that, and we're just not made that way. You need a break. Is there some way that they would qualify for free housekeeping provided by Medicare? Please take care of yourself. ❤🫂🙏🙏🙏🫂🫂