Monaschandroff86 · F
LadyGrace · 70-79
It's your dad's fault. He sounds very narcissistic. He didn't give you a choice. Sounds like he was only thinking of himself and had you send him your hard-earned money in order to keep you under his control.
A person might internalize the narcissistic parent's criticisms and blame, leading to self-blame and a distorted view of themselves instead of acknowledging the parent's narcissistic behavior, which is a common pattern in narcissistic abuse.
Here's a deeper dive into why this occurs:
Internalized Trauma and Self-Doubt:
Growing up with a narcissistic parent can lead to deep-seated feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, making it difficult to recognize and accept the reality of the abuse.
Fear of Rejection and Abandonment:
Narcissistic parents often use manipulation and gaslighting to control their children, creating a fear of rejection or abandonment if they challenge the parent's narrative.
Lack of Healthy Boundaries:
Children of narcissistic parents often struggle to establish healthy boundaries, which can make it difficult to recognize and separate themselves from the abuse.
Gaslighting and Reality Distortion:
Narcissists often distort reality and manipulate their children into believing that they are the problem, making it difficult for the child to see the truth.
Trauma Response:
The emotional trauma of narcissistic abuse can lead to a variety of mental health issues, such as anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder, which can further complicate the ability to process and acknowledge the abuse.
Fear of Confrontation:
Confronting a narcissistic parent can be incredibly difficult and even dangerous, as they may react with anger, rage, or further manipulation.
Survival Mechanism:
In some cases, a child's survival may depend on appeasing the narcissistic parent, which can lead to the internalization of the parent's negative messages.
Lack of Support:
Children of narcissistic parents may not have a strong support system to help them process the abuse and recognize the narcissistic behavior.
Difficulty Identifying Narcissism:
Many people may not be aware of the signs of narcissistic personality disorder or the impact it can have on their lives.
Low Self-Esteem:
Narcissistic abuse can significantly damage a person's self-esteem, making it difficult to believe that they are worthy of love and respect.
A person might internalize the narcissistic parent's criticisms and blame, leading to self-blame and a distorted view of themselves instead of acknowledging the parent's narcissistic behavior, which is a common pattern in narcissistic abuse.
Here's a deeper dive into why this occurs:
Internalized Trauma and Self-Doubt:
Growing up with a narcissistic parent can lead to deep-seated feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, making it difficult to recognize and accept the reality of the abuse.
Fear of Rejection and Abandonment:
Narcissistic parents often use manipulation and gaslighting to control their children, creating a fear of rejection or abandonment if they challenge the parent's narrative.
Lack of Healthy Boundaries:
Children of narcissistic parents often struggle to establish healthy boundaries, which can make it difficult to recognize and separate themselves from the abuse.
Gaslighting and Reality Distortion:
Narcissists often distort reality and manipulate their children into believing that they are the problem, making it difficult for the child to see the truth.
Trauma Response:
The emotional trauma of narcissistic abuse can lead to a variety of mental health issues, such as anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder, which can further complicate the ability to process and acknowledge the abuse.
Fear of Confrontation:
Confronting a narcissistic parent can be incredibly difficult and even dangerous, as they may react with anger, rage, or further manipulation.
Survival Mechanism:
In some cases, a child's survival may depend on appeasing the narcissistic parent, which can lead to the internalization of the parent's negative messages.
Lack of Support:
Children of narcissistic parents may not have a strong support system to help them process the abuse and recognize the narcissistic behavior.
Difficulty Identifying Narcissism:
Many people may not be aware of the signs of narcissistic personality disorder or the impact it can have on their lives.
Low Self-Esteem:
Narcissistic abuse can significantly damage a person's self-esteem, making it difficult to believe that they are worthy of love and respect.
YoMomma ·
My mom's dad forced her to marry my dad so he himself could come to American 😒 when my mom was engaged to someone else 😒
I know it's tough having controlling and abusive patients but if you are over 40 you have to start taking responsibility for yourself at some point..
I also wanted to go i to the army or navy when i was a teen but couldn't due to lack of education (i was only homeschooled till i was 13..)
But life sometimes has other stuff for us we cant keep blaming our life on the past tho it does effect us for sure..
I know it's tough having controlling and abusive patients but if you are over 40 you have to start taking responsibility for yourself at some point..
I also wanted to go i to the army or navy when i was a teen but couldn't due to lack of education (i was only homeschooled till i was 13..)
But life sometimes has other stuff for us we cant keep blaming our life on the past tho it does effect us for sure..
JamesBugman · 56-60, T
Not sure you can blame anyone really. Fate has a way of dealing out the cards to everyone and you get what you get. Think of it all as a learning experience, just things that happened to you in another lifetime, ancient history, and look forward instead.
What do you really want to do?
Also it sounds like your parents were maybe saving the money you sent them for you for later? Did you ask them?
What do you really want to do?
Also it sounds like your parents were maybe saving the money you sent them for you for later? Did you ask them?
Adidas11 · 41-45, M
@JamesBugman No, I didn't ask them. Maybe they have saved it for me, but that's a maybe.
AngelUnforgiven · 51-55, F
Adidas11 · 41-45, M
@AngelUnforgiven They probably knew it that I would leave them so, that's why they made me believe that I won't be able to take care of my money and took money from me. That is how they made me contact them when I needed money.
But what is done is done. I was successful in leaving them at 18 but instead, fell into another stressful situation.
But what is done is done. I was successful in leaving them at 18 but instead, fell into another stressful situation.
once i got on that boat, i probably would have never looked back.
Adidas11 · 41-45, M
@YourMomsSecretCrush I jumped from one kind of abuse to another kind of abuse. Not a Boat, but a huge 650 feet ship at which I didn't want to be on.
As a cadet, I was made to do what cadet normally do - Bridge watches, scrapping, chipping and painting the main Steel/iron deck but that was "against" my total will. I never wanted to learn anything over there. I was there just to avoid my family for as many months as I was on ship. I didn't have money to survive on my own at that time or atleast I was made to believe it. And the first time, I came back with $2000 when I was 20, my dad told me to hand him over my money and that he will pay me when I need it. Obviously, it was to set a trap so that I constantly be in touch with him. But I don't know I was that intelligent to learn these manipulative tactics.
But all stories are two sided, so maybe there was extreme lack of confidence in me.
As a cadet, I was made to do what cadet normally do - Bridge watches, scrapping, chipping and painting the main Steel/iron deck but that was "against" my total will. I never wanted to learn anything over there. I was there just to avoid my family for as many months as I was on ship. I didn't have money to survive on my own at that time or atleast I was made to believe it. And the first time, I came back with $2000 when I was 20, my dad told me to hand him over my money and that he will pay me when I need it. Obviously, it was to set a trap so that I constantly be in touch with him. But I don't know I was that intelligent to learn these manipulative tactics.
But all stories are two sided, so maybe there was extreme lack of confidence in me.
Adidas11 · 41-45, M
@YourMomsSecretCrush And when I was getting good money, still I didn't want to be on board. At that time, I got this girl and decided that I won't quit my job if she comes along with me in my life but demanding extreme love from her, not physical but emotional, made her doubt me. And slowly she realised how well she could use me. It happens in any relationship. And it was a break point in my life when I observed her flirting with other guys. For her, it was normal as people do flirt, but to me, it got to my nerves that I am sending money to this person from ship and she has her pho e switched off for me when I am at shore. I made a Facebook account and she was found flirting. That day, my little incentive to work on board was gone. Maybe I can't explain you better than this. But I tried my best.