It might sound stupid, but I cried because I realized I'm getting old.

I grew up in a poor family in a third-world country. For part of my life, I had to live in the province so my mom and dad could both work in the city. When they finally brought me to the city, my mom stopped working and started a small business while my dad worked as a security guard in a different province. He could only come home on weekends. I remember playing with him during those times, and I enjoyed it a lot. But we still couldn’t spend much time together since he was only home once a week, and most of that time he spent resting because he worked night shifts.

Then, to provide us with a better life, my father decided to go abroad for work. That obviously took away the little time we had together. Back then, social media wasn’t popular, and we communicated through texts and calls. But we were poor, and calls and texts to another country were expensive. Now, over a decade has passed, and I realize how much I miss the fun we had when I was a child. I can't experience that anymore because I’m an adult now. I feel like I didn’t get enough of that time, and I grew up with little interaction with my father. It’s just sad how much I wanted my father to take care of me as a child, and it makes me cry. It might be embarrassing, but another reason is my father’s infidelity. Even when he comes home for vacations, he sometimes goes to his mistress’s family, and I’m just so jealous, especially when I discovered that the daughter of the mistress got to visit the country where my father worked and spend time with him. I’ve never experienced that before. It feels like he became more of a father to the other kid than to me. I don’t know, maybe I’m overreacting, but it hurts.