Upset
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I feel stuck

I try so hard to be loving and show kindness to my family, but all I have in return is just condescension and inconsideration. There’s almost no boundaries for my feelings and I don’t know what to do about it. I get if I cry I’m told I’m too sensitive and need to grow up, but if I get mad, I’m told I’m being dramatic, so I don’t know what else to do. I can’t just shut up. It’s just not how I am. When I talk about my parents to my friends, they say that their behaviors are not normal and that I should move out immediately. I still feel guilty for wanting to move out. They’ve been gracious enough to me to provide a life for me, but they’ve never treated me with love, so I’m conflicted. And even though I want to move out very badly, I still have to wait at least a year. My mom guilt trips me into staying or doing things for her. I just feel stuck. I don’t know how to escape the cycle of being the bad daughter when I don’t think I did anything wrong. Maybe I don’t realize the things I’m doing wrong, but the way my parents and siblings talk to me is so degrading and so so tiring. I just feel like I’d be better if I wasn’t here. Even after my therapist tells my mom I need to be out of the house in order to heal, my mom still is very possessive and narcissistic. I don’t know what to do.
Leave as soon as you are able to. Go either low contact or no contact. Your life is for yourself, don’t waste it because your family is trash (trust me, I understand completely). Focus on your education, get a job if you can, and move out. Show them how far you can go without them.
RedGrizzly · 26-30, F
Of your siblings that disrespect you regularly, do your parents show favoritism of them over you? You don't have to answer if it's too painful to visit that.
RedGrizzly · 26-30, F
@tylerdurden024 Absolutely! It took me a while to learn this, but life circumstances like that make us tougher and wise. We're not the kind of people to fold under pressure, uncomfortable situations, hardships because going through things at a younger age than later in adulthood is like conditioning. As a result, you'll end up more resilient to any sort of conflict in life. So, you may not be a "bright side" type of person, but regardless you're still going to persevere through this and come out a warrior.

You need this struggle, unfortunately, life gets a little harder when you leave the nest. It may even seem unforgiving at times. Not to discourage you, but give yourself some time to prepare before dipping like working while you're still under their roof. Take advantage of them! Budget, save up as much as you can, look at vehicles, a handgun (you can't be too careful as a woman on your own. Rather have one and not need it), and apartments. See what you can afford. It's a process but you're hardy enough to go through it. 😄

I mean, working and having a vehicle alone would drastically change your circumstance! You wouldn't have to be at the house too much and get a break from the b.s.! Also, if you wanted to go have a day out to relax you can! It'll definitely make home life more tolerable.So, it's a lot to think about but change is coming soon, be excited for your future! 😁🤗
tylerdurden024 · 16-17, FNew
@RedGrizzly wow I can’t thank you enough. Living under this roof for 17 years has been no piece of cake so any kind words are encouraging. I’m working on getting my drivers license and already have a job set up for the school year. I hope to get my license to carry asap too. I have a plan for once I get out, but really it means so much to me that someone, anyone, took the time to encourage me and be real with me❤️ I hope you reap many blessings of kindness in return. Thank you!
RedGrizzly · 26-30, F
@tylerdurden024 You're welcome! Hang in there! You're definitely on the right track! 💪😉
Diotrephes · 70-79, M
@tylerdurden024 Enlist in the military tomorrow.
tylerdurden024 · 16-17, FNew
@Diotrephes lol that’s what my sister is doing, I don’t blame her

 
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