I feel stuck

I try so hard to be loving and show kindness to my family, but all I have in return is just condescension and inconsideration. There’s almost no boundaries for my feelings and I don’t know what to do about it. I get if I cry I’m told I’m too sensitive and need to grow up, but if I get mad, I’m told I’m being dramatic, so I don’t know what else to do. I can’t just shut up. It’s just not how I am. When I talk about my parents to my friends, they say that their behaviors are not normal and that I should move out immediately. I still feel guilty for wanting to move out. They’ve been gracious enough to me to provide a life for me, but they’ve never treated me with love, so I’m conflicted. And even though I want to move out very badly, I still have to wait at least a year. My mom guilt trips me into staying or doing things for her. I just feel stuck. I don’t know how to escape the cycle of being the bad daughter when I don’t think I did anything wrong. Maybe I don’t realize the things I’m doing wrong, but the way my parents and siblings talk to me is so degrading and so so tiring. I just feel like I’d be better if I wasn’t here. Even after my therapist tells my mom I need to be out of the house in order to heal, my mom still is very possessive and narcissistic. I don’t know what to do.