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dancingtongue · 80-89, M
Everything. I was bed ridden for four years so my mother had to stay home and be my caregiver/teacher rather than being a school teacher, which she enjoyed and we needed the income. They taught me to be self-reliant when I was capable, emphasized education, helped support me to the extent they could while I was in college while making clear it wasn't a blank check and I had to earn what I could as well. When I returned from a few months gadding about Europe after taking a European discharge from the Army, I landed at JRK Airport with literally enough in my pocket to place a collect call and they wired me the money for an airline ticket home. They loaned me the money (at a low interest rate) to buy my first car which I needed for my first real job. And when a German girl I had met was goi ng to be thrown into foster care because her single mom had to serve a year in jail for black market activity, they agreed to take care of her for the year.
Did we always get along? No. It was the 60's and the Great Generation Gap. But I was raised to believe it was OK to disagree and have different viewpoints, as long as you were also taking responsibility for your words and your actions. Tough love I believe it is called.
Did we always get along? No. It was the 60's and the Great Generation Gap. But I was raised to believe it was OK to disagree and have different viewpoints, as long as you were also taking responsibility for your words and your actions. Tough love I believe it is called.
Wiseacre · F
Well, ur a special case...ur dam lucky!@dancingtongue
JollyRoger · 70-79, M
@Wiseacre I agree @dancingtongue was lucky.... not many parents would have /could have extended him the moral and financial credit he received. BUT: The bottom line is that he showed responsibility! Not as dramatic, but in the same vein as his parents: I've had 2 instances where my young relatives needed to borrow money and they asked me... We did it by a ''promissry note'.... and by golly, they both returned the money and reaped the benefits of having had 'a hand-up' instead of a hand-out. Both are now responsible citizens.
dancingtongue · 80-89, M
@JollyRoger I have done the same for my sons and a couple of nieces. Pass it forward.
You see so little responsible parenting these days, imho. As with everything else in this digital age, it seems to be one extreme or the other: they want to be buddy buddy with their children so badly that they are totally permissive and the kids learn nothing about accountability, or they are so dictatorial that their kids natural curiosity and interests are killed by strangulation; the fear of doing anything that might aggravate. The other day I saw two young fathers bring their toddlers into the diner I frequent. The diner has a lot of interesting mementoes and things; the toddlers were naturally excited and curious. The fathers took turns riding herd as the toddlers did a little exploring, making sure they did not disturb any other diners, endanger themselves, or disrupt the restaurant, while their own coffee and food grew cold in turn. The kids obviously had been taught well , using only their inside voices, not attempting to be disruptive, just exploring their curiosity. I paid their check on the way out.
You see so little responsible parenting these days, imho. As with everything else in this digital age, it seems to be one extreme or the other: they want to be buddy buddy with their children so badly that they are totally permissive and the kids learn nothing about accountability, or they are so dictatorial that their kids natural curiosity and interests are killed by strangulation; the fear of doing anything that might aggravate. The other day I saw two young fathers bring their toddlers into the diner I frequent. The diner has a lot of interesting mementoes and things; the toddlers were naturally excited and curious. The fathers took turns riding herd as the toddlers did a little exploring, making sure they did not disturb any other diners, endanger themselves, or disrupt the restaurant, while their own coffee and food grew cold in turn. The kids obviously had been taught well , using only their inside voices, not attempting to be disruptive, just exploring their curiosity. I paid their check on the way out.
JollyRoger · 70-79, M
Spoiledbrat · F
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
@Spoiledbrat I lost my mom when I was 11, my dad when I was 18. In that short time they molded me into a curious, questioning individual. That proved critical to my career.
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
@Wiseacre yes,no really never got that know them.
CactusJackManson · M
Its a question where there is no right or wrong answer.
Very often children are created for personal and often selfish reasons. Like wanting to enjoy them them when they are small.. & we do have great memories & a fantastic time enjoying these little people.
However they quickly become their own individual selves & because they didnt ask to be born actually dont anything.
One would hope that if they were nurtured with love , they would quite naturally wish to return the years down when the parent needs them to care.
However the truth it will always be a Nature Vs Nurture situation. Some will care a ...and some children wont at all or much.
Both my parents have passed on now, however my consensus while they were alive , was one of loving & giving. Neither were perfect .. but they did their best 🙂
Very often children are created for personal and often selfish reasons. Like wanting to enjoy them them when they are small.. & we do have great memories & a fantastic time enjoying these little people.
However they quickly become their own individual selves & because they didnt ask to be born actually dont anything.
One would hope that if they were nurtured with love , they would quite naturally wish to return the years down when the parent needs them to care.
However the truth it will always be a Nature Vs Nurture situation. Some will care a ...and some children wont at all or much.
Both my parents have passed on now, however my consensus while they were alive , was one of loving & giving. Neither were perfect .. but they did their best 🙂
JollyRoger · 70-79, M
@Kae20 Yes, you are right about there being being a segment of our society whose selfish interests (the pleasure of irresponsible sex / having control over a weaker person / having a toy to use and abuse / seeking immortality by creating a new generation / showing procreative ability - narcissism) causes much heartache and many social problems for the child who must rationalize the reasons why their parents treated them as such. Why place such a burden on an innocent life?
But, as for the greater segment of our society it's the joy, the love, the nurturing, the teaching and the admiration of having helped form another loving, productive, helpful and caring individual who cherishes their life and who seeks to make someone else happy by sharing it and passing that joy forward into society for yet another generation.
But, as for the greater segment of our society it's the joy, the love, the nurturing, the teaching and the admiration of having helped form another loving, productive, helpful and caring individual who cherishes their life and who seeks to make someone else happy by sharing it and passing that joy forward into society for yet another generation.
@JollyRoger 🙂 Absolutely, I agree . A very well written opinion too.
SW-User
I owe them my life for without them I wouldn’t be here, I’m thankful for the time and care they gave me when they did. They are not perfect people but then again who is so I focus on that … their over bearing narcissism is something they can answer to and take responsibility for. The rest is history.
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
Fluffybull · F
RedGrizzly · 26-30, F
I don't. If I do something for them it's out of kindness and love. If we can get out of the "I owe you" or "you owe me" dynamic that would be a better for all parties. Otherwise, it's as if the relationship between your parents are transactional. That's the difference between feeling I "owe" them and doing something genuine out of reverence.
ChipmunkErnie · 70-79, M
They're both long dead, and I miss them terribly. Owe them? Love and respect, I guess would be the main things.
Wiseacre · F
u’re lucky@ChipmunkErnie
To not be worthless, but I am so…
Wiseacre · F
So...what?@DarkHeaven
@Wiseacre I wish I had like amounted to something. Oh well.
SW-User
Money, a better house, better life.
BarbossasHusband · 36-40, M
My dad's dead, but for my mom?
A bullet to the skull
A bullet to the skull
HumanEarth · 56-60, F
Their both gone
Wiseacre · F
Were they good?@HumanEarth
HumanEarth · 56-60, F
Mom was great died at young age 47
Dad was evil live to 72. Abusive to kids growing up, liked little kids sexually, and tons of other evil things.
Never was really caught for his crimes. By the time they caught up to him. He only spent less then a yr behind bars before he died
Dad was evil live to 72. Abusive to kids growing up, liked little kids sexually, and tons of other evil things.
Never was really caught for his crimes. By the time they caught up to him. He only spent less then a yr behind bars before he died
MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M
Donotfolowme · 51-55, F
Wiseacre · F
I see@Donotfolowme
