Coming to terms with the fact that you are your mother's least favorite child...

I can be wrong. But if she has had this type of "off" bond with you, practical matters is a good way to say "I appreciate you and need you" because it's scary to be completely vulnerable if that isn't the sort of connection you guys have. Remember that she's a boomer. To be vulnerable and express how she feels isn't in their blood.

My dad is simliar to her that way. He's same age, calls to talk about dilemmas and issues and he wanna fix things practically or get help practically. That's his way to say "You're my daughter, I love you, I need you"

He recently saw me stand up for him and after that we have bonded more emotionally and he has started to say what he feels. He's still hiding under practical issues but I see what he's a trying to say.

If she tells you she feels lonely. That's something very beautiful. But she might be more comfortable to see your sister. Maybe she had kids? Or they have a relationship that makes her less challenged. But that doesn't mean she doesn't love you equally.

She's old. She's not gonna stay that long so if I were you I wouldn't hold it against her. Just be with her and let her get what she needs whether she gets it from you or your sister.

I would stop initiating any contact with her and wait for the requests for technical help. Just say you are busy each time and eventually she will stop contacting you entirely.

Then you know where you stand and have confirmation that she was never really interested in you as a person. I would rather face the truth than live a lie pretending that she really cares about me. You can't make people like you so best to cut them loose.

I became much happier when my mother died. Not all mothers are good at mothering.

I can understand this well. I am the one that sacrifices to take care of them and after a year my brother decides he wants to take over much of it. It has cost me a lot of money and my emotional health but i keep doing things because I love them. I live the furthest away too. I feel you so deeply because I could have written it. I will keep you in my thoughts.

Why do anything for her then? I wouldn’t lift a finger for someone like that. You do do and do for her but she can’t return the favor? The next time she needs help with her computer, or her phone or her TV, why not return the favor and shoot her down! Decline anything and everything she asks of you. She does the same to you, so why not?

I'd cut her out of your life. People who can't behave decently should be avoided even if (or maybe especially if) they're family.

The thing is it is kind of true that you teach people how to treat you. If you let her carry on treating you like a commodity when she needs you and then reject you when no longer needed, it will never end.

In my opinion she is getting away with the bad treatment of you because you let her and find excuses.

I hear your pain and disappointment.

Any mother who treats their child as less than is not an ideal mother.

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