Coming to terms with the fact that you are your mother's least favorite child...

I've invited her out to eat 3 times, she declined.
I live 15 minutes away from her, however, she will drive 30 minutes away to go visit my sisters. She will come over if she needs help with her computer or smartphone.
She will ask me to come over to fix her TV.
She recently indicated that she was sad so i offered to come over and bring her food and drink ... no response. When my sister invited her over, she's on top of that.

My mother is 75 and we've never really been that close, but damn, why not just tell me to my face that you'd rather not be bothered instead of ignoring and avoiding me. It's additionally aggravating because there's no talking with her about how I feel. She'd just downplay the issue.

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Queendragonfly · 31-35, F Best Comment

I can be wrong. But if she has had this type of "off" bond with you, practical matters is a good way to say "I appreciate you and need you" because it's scary to be completely vulnerable if that isn't the sort of connection you guys have. Remember that she's a boomer. To be vulnerable and express how she feels isn't in their blood.

My dad is simliar to her that way. He's same age, calls to talk about dilemmas and issues and he wanna fix things practically or get help practically. That's his way to say "You're my daughter, I love you, I need you"

He recently saw me stand up for him and after that we have bonded more emotionally and he has started to say what he feels. He's still hiding under practical issues but I see what he's a trying to say.

If she tells you she feels lonely. That's something very beautiful. But she might be more comfortable to see your sister. Maybe she had kids? Or they have a relationship that makes her less challenged. But that doesn't mean she doesn't love you equally.

She's old. She's not gonna stay that long so if I were you I wouldn't hold it against her. Just be with her and let her get what she needs whether she gets it from you or your sister.

DreamyCrush · F

@Queendragonfly Thank you so much. This puts a different perspective on the issue. It's hard to not take it personally though.

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@DreamyCrush Yeah I understand that. I don't know why I'm not jealous on my siblings who has more contact with my parents. I think I have accepted that we have different relationships with them and that none are wrong or bad, just different. And that what's important is that we are there for one another.

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@DreamyCrush Did you give me the best comment tag? If it was you. Thank you very much 💚🥰I'm glad you or them appreciated it.

DreamyCrush · F

@Queendragonfly Yes, I appreciated your response and saved it for future viewing when I'm feeling slighted.

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@DreamyCrush Feel free to dm me if she's grinding your gears so to speak. 💚

DreamyCrush · F

@Queendragonfly Thank You! 🤗