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anybody have any tips dealing with an unmotivated younger sibling?

I have been trying to get my brother to stop being lazy. This guy is so educated but is underemployed. He got two bachelors but is working part time at some shitty job he always complains about. I told him you can be an online teacher with your degrees and he gets mad at me. All he does is play videogames and have no plans for the future. I tried to get him to invest his money to get different forms of income and dude just yells at me or hangs up the phone. Even tried to get him to start a YouTube channel then gets pissed off at me when his ten videos don't get much views. He's still living at my parents home at 26. Honestly i blame my parents. They spoiled him too much. Everything they did wrong with me, they tried making it up with him. Probably the best thing that happened to me was getting kicked out at a young age because my brother is just a mess. I'm worried because my parents aren't going to live forever.
empanadas
31-35, M
29 replies 68 views Jul 29, 2022
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Edited: 2 yrs ago
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SW-User
My 20 year old nephew is like this .. but he is an underachiever and his grandma (my mom) spoiled him rotten!. I never got a PlayStation or Nintendo growing up because my parents didn’t believe in video games .. but with him . They used buy him the latest And greatest.. and he would sell it all for $20 and some drugs .. now he’s under my care!.. I have no problem giving him $500 bucks and leaving him at an underpass and saying “good luck homie” but my mom thought of this.. so she gave him her home in her Will ..so now since he has her home .. it’s everyone’s duty to feed him and keep him happy .. sometimes I just want to throw a Molotov cocktail through my old bedroom window and watch that house burn down ..
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Jul 29, 2022
SW-User
@iamonfire696 oh he will . He’s got a mental illness .. he’s all kinds of fucked in the head from his step dad abusing him from when he was a child
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Jul 30, 2022
empanadas · 31-35, M
@SW-User damn bro that's tough. Sometimes kindness goes the wrong. Everything she worked for will probably get messed up. Hope it doesn't end up like that
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Jul 30, 2022
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
@SW-User I am sorry to hear that. I understand why he’s like the way he is. I was sexually abused as a kid but we all handle it differently. Giving in to him wasn’t the route to go though. That’s really frustrating. I am sorry.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jul 30, 2022
Reject · 26-30, M
My sister is like that. My solution was to disown her. Now I don’t even have a sister. Haven’t seen her in many years and haven’t spoken to her since I was in middle school. I know she found subsidized housing and lives on welfare disability even though she has none. She just made some mental illness up. Maybe your brother could do the same. It’s not too hard to convince people you’re disabled now. This way he’ll always be provided for by the government even if your family can’t tend to him anymore.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jul 30, 2022
empanadas · 31-35, M
@Reject yeah he was talking about that. Apparently he wants to have 5 kids all in some public housing apartment. It's annoying because my parents worked so hard for him to get an education but he just wants to be a lazy fuck.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jul 30, 2022
Reject · 26-30, M
@empanadas It’s tough because you can’t force your child to do anything. They have to find their strength on their own at some point. You provide as their parent and hopefully you can guide them, but ultimately if they don’t care, then they don’t care.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Jul 30, 2022
SW-User
I am the unmotivated younger sibling lol if my brother ever creates an sw account I’ll send him your way 🤣🤣
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Jul 30, 2022
Spumoni · 46-50, M
@SW-User This is very inspiring in a motivational way
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jul 30, 2022
empanadas · 31-35, M
@SW-User naw I'm good British people are annoying
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Jul 30, 2022
Quetzalcoatlus · 46-50, M
There is nothing you can do, he has to find his own way…
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Jul 29, 2022
Fishy · 36-40, F
There might be a deeper issue at hand, one that maybe neither of you realised before ...
Have you tried hearing him out or seeing things from his perspective?
you don't have to agree with him, just see where he is coming from
Really getting to the bottom of his issues about this might help 😅
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jul 29, 2022
TrunkZ · 56-60, M
His safety net seems too secure at the moment. That old saying is true: Necessity is the mother of invention.

As someone else said, talk to him. There may be other factors at play that are preventing him from becoming self-supporting such as depression or anxiety.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jul 30, 2022
Fishy · 36-40, F
Also this makes me wonder because I hear of so many educated people being like this, yet you get the opposites who are successful as heck

Kinda makes you wonder what the deal is with schools ;/
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jul 30, 2022
empanadas · 31-35, M
@Fishy tbh schools are just a way to produce workers and basically be a tax slave. The debt people pay to get an education is just another tool to keep someone working a job for the rest of their life.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jul 30, 2022
Fishy · 36-40, F
@empanadas Tbh I'm just realising all this recently,
The educational system is seriously flawed

but yeah you need to be patient with the educated and unmotivated because its hard to unlearn all the crappy systems and fake promises they've been taught

How was your brother when he was studying for his degree? Was he a dedicated student?

If so, another reason he could be unmotivated and defensive is because he did all this schooling but can't find work in the industry he studied for, its probably a huge bummer for him
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Jul 30, 2022 · Edited: 2 yrs ago
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SkeetSkeet · 100+, F
Maybe he's depressed and doesn't believe in himself enough that he could actually have a successful job🤷‍♂️

That's something I've noticed with people. For example my cousin and his wife. They both have degrees and my cousin literally has to take one semester of electives to get his other degree. He could be a professor or go teach English but they both have choose to work at a call center for the last 10 years instead that they hate. Because they think they aren't good enough.

It frustrating to sit back and watch people do that.
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Jul 30, 2022
Bang5luts · M
Cattle prods are excellent motivators, words of encouragement, like get them to do a task and then say something like, "I thought you said you had never done this before! " your a natural then dode on them I'm front of others. This can be an excellent source for motivation
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jul 29, 2022
SW-User
Most of the time, really stubborn and unmotivated people who think they know it all need to hit rock bottom on their own before they really wake up. It’s sad to watch, but he needs to come to the realization on his own terms if he’s not willing to take advice from others.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jul 30, 2022
Justenjoyit · 61-69, M
Just cut the Internet off lol
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Jul 30, 2022
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
There’s nothing you can do. My sister and brother are like. I don’t bother anymore.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jul 30, 2022
empanadas · 31-35, M
@iamonfire696 I was at that point s few years ago but we tried to get repair our relationship. However, it's frustrating to see someone you care about not care about their life
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Jul 30, 2022
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
@empanadas I completely agree. My sister is an alcoholic. There’s nothing I can do though. I have accepted this and when she hits rock bottom and she’s still alive. I will help her then. Until then I won’t enable it.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jul 30, 2022
LordShadowfire · 46-50, M
Light a fire under his ass? Literally?
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Jul 31, 2022
 
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