Potentially unpopular opinion of the day: If you have ever said the words, "People who commit sui are the most selfish people in the world"...

@LeopoldBloom I'm policing the people who abuse and ostracize family, etc, not trying at all to get them help..then have the audacity to call them selfish when they have been trying so hard to live, all along. Is it not policing for these very same people to call the suicidal person's grief "selfish"?

@foldedunfolding OK, that's different. I'm talking about someone whose relative kills themself without warning, and the survivor deals with it by calling them "selfish" after the fact. But if the warning signs were clearly there and the depressed relative was asking for help and was told "man up" or "deal with it," then clearly the survivor is dealing with their own guilt by dismissing them.

We have a strange attitude toward death in the US, where people are expected to "get over it" and "move on" when a loved one dies. There's very little space for genuine grief as it makes people uncomfortable. This may be connected to the attitude that anyone with a serious, potentially fatal health condition like cancer is supposed to "fight," and deciding to die with dignity is "giving up." It's as if death is some kind of failure rather than a normal part of life.

@LeopoldBloom absolutely..a consequence of capitalism, really. i posted on here once..if you cant scream and cry at a funeral, rend your clothes, and smother yourself with ashes THERE..then WHERE

@foldedunfolding Oh yeah, that makes people really uncomfortable. Many funeral parlors have a separate area for the family in case someone does that, so the other people don't have to see it.

Have you seen the HBO series Six Feet Under? It dealt with this issue in more depth than any other show I can think of.

@LeopoldBloom i watched a few episodes but it was rather depressing lol

@foldedunfolding

"Policing" someone else's mental heath sounds like a lot of responsibility.

@GuiltyBiStander im not saying they SHOULD police. im saying they should at least try to help before labeling someone selfish

@foldedunfolding

I think it's just a really hard thing - even for trained & experienced professionals.

@GuiltyBiStander ofc it is. im just saying..until you have put in work and known every underpinning of their mental/spiritual/emotion dysfunction, who are you to cast the first stone? trained and experienced professionals should also stay away from stones.

@GuiltyBiStander you dont have to SAVE them. but you DO have to NOT call them selfish when you are not them.