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Would you care?

My dad's been in the hospital nearly two weeks. He had a lung infection and then they found swollen lymph nodes in his body, so took a biopsy. We are waiting to see if it's cancer, (non Hodgkin's lymphoma)which unfortunately they said it does look probable..😟

I bought him a small gift on the second day he was in there. They were not expensive, two little heart and bear figures...he protested to any gift in an abrasive way at first. I told him not to worry they did not break the bank. He knows I'm unemployed. But my mom said today he was offering to give one of them to a nurse. I don't know, it made me feel low. But I do overthink sometimes. Would you care Really, or just brush it off?
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Maybe the nurse has been really looking after him etc and he feels obliged to gift her smth to show his appreciation but due to his position can't actively go out and get smth or feels embarrassed to ask of others to do so after being adamant about not receiving gifts. Obv you know your relationship better but I think I would just bring flowers and a thank you card or a chocolate box for the nurses myself next time visiting him to show him that you see him and are there for him. You do good by yourself and you will never regret that because at the end of the day we can only control our responses and actions
twiigss · M
So sorry to hear the news Coral. My dad has non Hodgkin's lymphoma also. I think he had chemo done years ago and it went into remission, then I heard maybe within the last 15 years that it came back but didn't hear anything since then.

Regarding the gift, he is most likely wanting to show his appreciation to the nurses/staff who've helped him, but if my niece bought me gifts like that, you best believe in holding onto those lol.

Hope your Dad gets better soon 🙏
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@twiigss Oh wow, sorry your dad has that as well. I'm assuming it was a lower stage? We are going to find out soon if it is indeed cancer, and the stage. Despite my disdain for what he did in my life , I really hope it's clear. Ty my friend 🌻
Cigarguy · 41-45, M
Family's are hard. Especially when there is a painful past involved. Maybe the nurse commented how she thought it was cute and he figured since he had two he would give her one. I wouldn't try to overthink it, easier said than done I know. But just be glad somebody is getting joy out of the gift that you gave. I pray that the tests come back good and that he will get better soon.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Cigarguy Thank you...it's true maybe the nurse said it's cute. Or he probably was trying to reward her in some way. He used to give a lot of his snacks or Twinkies at his nursing home to CNA s when they helped lol. Ty again 🌷
Cigarguy · 41-45, M
@Coralmist you are welcome.
black4white · 56-60, M
I think your dad wants to show appreciation to the nurse and truly adores the gifts you gave to him… Nurses are under valued especially in times like these and he is wanting to show gratitude to that person who may have been extremely nice and caring during his stay… absolutely nothing for you to be upset or even miffed over 😁 …hope all goes well
Domking · 61-69, M
Please be happy that you were trying to cheer him up. The moods of a person when hospitalized goes through ups and downs.
Yours was a great gesture. I would have done the same if I was in that position.
AngelUnforgiven · 51-55, F
I wouldn't have left them there because things come up missing in hospitals i would have shown them to him and said i will take them home or keep them until you get out. But yes, that would have made me feel some type of way.
PhantomMagic88 · 36-40, M
I think I would be ok. Pethaps he wanted to share the joy that gift gave him with another person too :)
PhantomMagic88 · 36-40, M
@Coralmist :) Praying for ya
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@PhantomMagic88 I appreciate that, thanks Phantom 🌼
PhantomMagic88 · 36-40, M
@Coralmist You got it
Platinum · M
I would be fine with him giving the nurse one of the gifts, most nurses are wonderful....i hope your dad gets better
Strongtea · 22-25, M
It would hurt me I think, but he’s probably not trying to be mean to you, just trying to be nice to someone else.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Strongtea Yes ...I do see that now. It's just if it were reversed, and I gave a gift from him to a nurse, and he said, Oh where's the bear? And I say I gave it to someone, he might wonder how much it really meant to me, to give it away..😟
Strongtea · 22-25, M
I think you or I wouldn’t have even thought about giving it away but he’s likely not thinking like he normally would? He could even be on a bit of medication that is affecting him slightly. Try not to dwell on it (I’d be the same as you) try to be strong and move past it, you did a nice thing. @Coralmist
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Strongtea it's Def true he's been foggy because of his infection. He didn't know the year. It hurts though because from the minute I gave him the gift he was abrasive about it. But I won't dwell on it. My main concern is hopefully he will not have cancer, that's more important. Ty my friend 🌺
SatanBurger · 36-40, F
I would low key be kind of hurt. Sorry you're going through that
JoyfulSilence · 51-55, M
So sorry.

It was nice if you to give him gifts.
Jenny1234 · 56-60, F
I would be a little hurt but I’d get over it. It’d be the last gift from me though
pdockal · 56-60, M
It depends why he's giving it away but id be annoyed

 
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