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It hurts really bad. Please help on deciding what to do.

So for the past two weeks, I had a friend, a person I met on a dating app.

So she and I used to talk a lot, like for hours and hours. We got to know the vulnerable sides of each other, but then probably she started dissecting me, knowing me deeply, and I was properly telling her everything. She is somewhat a therapist of sorts. By the end of two weeks, I was really into her, but she had some other thought. She never liked me, in fact, and yesterday, last night, she told me that she's hung up on someone else.

And told me we should just stick towards that friendship only part.


But then we were talking, doing things really emotional things also on call only, not on... we have never met each other.


We had planned to go for a trip also, we were thinking of meeting so many times also, but then suddenly last night she told me these things. How do I get out of it now? Should I leave her? She says she wants to be friends.


And we used to talk for hours, like 12 hours, 11 hours a day, and we used to exchange texts also. But then this feels difficult. How do I come out of it? And what is your opinion? Should I stay in touch with her or should I just don't call her back, don't text her back?


I don't have people. I don't have any support system. I am completely by myself all alone. I had her but now I don't.

It feels very lonely and it feels very dark.


I don't know what to do. If I stayed in touch, if I stayed friends, it's possible that I would keep on thinking that with this person I've been completely vulnerable. I've told her things that I would have never told anyone else. So there's that. And how would it impact the future? Like she's hung up on someone else.


But then if I leave her, I don't have any friends, I don't have anyone to talk to. I won't get any notifications, I won't wait for someone to call me. Because I don't have anyone else. That will be more lonely for me.

I am not in a very healthy space.
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This happens many times between people getting to know each other. At first, there is the initial spark and as you start revealing things about each other, or manifest certain behavior, sometimes there are things that may cause a disconnect. In fairness to both of you, I think judgment should not be made on who is right or wrong, but perhaps understand and accept that there came a point where the connection was severed. Perhaps she realized you are not as compatible to her as she first thought you might be or she was unsure which person (you or the other man) would be more compatible to her but the fact that she says she is hung up on this other man and decided to end what she had wth you is indication that she has already made up her mind.

I would suggest that for your healing to begin that you initiate a closure, no longer contact her and move on. It will take some time for the anger or hurt to pass, but it will. Look at it on the bright side, you really do not want a person in your life who cannot love you the same way or in any way at all. As for friends, go out more and socialize, take on new hobbies where you may meet people with similar interests to yours. Online friendships and romances are not the same as friendships and romances created out in the real world. We only get to truly know a person by being with them, seeing how they interact with family, friends and how we manage and react to the daily struggles in life. I wish you good luck and happiness.
Elisbch · M
That's what they do.

Put her behind you and don't look back... ever. You'll regain some peace.


So she and I used to talk a lot, like for hours and hours. We got to know the vulnerable sides of each other, but then probably she started dissecting me, knowing me deeply, and I was properly telling her everything.

This is a trick they use.... only for their advantage.

She is somewhat a therapist of sorts.

No she's not, she's a user. The trick is evidence of that.

By the end of two weeks, I was really into her, but she had some other thought. She never liked me, in fact, and yesterday, last night, she told me that she's hung up on someone else

You got caught up while in a vulnerable state, she worked you.

Here's your proof in all the above.

Sorry it happened. Move on.
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tobynshorty · 51-55, F
If you are looking for a relationship then you have to pull away and look for s decent and fun person to be with.
dale74 · M
Sounds like you've been friend zoned
dale74 · M
@bill117 but you have to move on
bill117 · 46-50, M
@dale74 Is it safe to move on with her where I aware my feelings will not be responded to in thr same way?
dale74 · M
@bill117 best thing to do is chanhe her contact to spam and block her she doesn't deserve you
helenoftroy2000 · 22-25, F
i would say leave him and move on
bill117 · 46-50, M
@helenoftroy2000 It hurts too much. She knows that. And she has not ghosted me
redback · 56-60, M
Try no contact and see if she chases you if not you will be better off
bill117 · 46-50, M
@redback I did that. She responded first saying that we can still go to that trip we planned. It hurts but i wanna stay in touch even after knowing she won't respond with same feeling
redback · 56-60, M
@bill117 yeah ok well you may need to go further
She might have panicked and made up this other person.
bill117 · 46-50, M
@SomeMichGuy I don't think so. Its a real person
@bill117 She might be using that real person as the supposed reason.

This is just too "pat" to make sense.
YoMomma ·
Is she even a real person? Did she live video chat with you or might she even be a catfish? 😏 just don't send her any money.. there’s lots of fat romance scammers out there 😒
Neoerectus · M
She is a manipulator in practice, even if not in intent. Cut her away. This is a tried and true scheme. Run, dont walk, away.
bill117 · 46-50, M
@Neoerectus That may not be the right thing to say. I mean i feel she has a good heart

 
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