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If a woman was having a female related problem, and sought advice from female family members, should it make the husband feel left out?

The list could be ranging from, periods, pregnancy, birth, post birth, menopause, possibly even contraception, weight, fibroids, grooming...

He may have some information he gained from his female relatives or read.
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AngelUnforgiven · 51-55, F
Sometimes people need a female perspective not to say that they shouldn't seek the advice of a doctor of course they should. But from my own personal opinion I would talk to my husband about it and tell him I'm going to talk to your sister or my female cousin or my sister etc..he needs to know what's going on with me and also should understand that I need a female perspective.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@AngelUnforgiven and you would hope he would respect that are doing so.
He's informed about what is going on but also very powerless/unknowledgeable at least from a first hand perspective.
BamPow · 51-55, M
I’ll just join the chorus of people who believe it’s a sign of insecurity on his part if he has a problem with you seeking advice from others.
Livingwell · 61-69, M
It is better for the husband to maintain a holding pattern. He has no business being involved in such conversation uninvited unless it deals with your immediate safety. I have years of experience in this so trust me. It will end bad for him.
AngelUnforgiven · 51-55, F
Any info that he has he can give to her she's his wife I'm not understanding what the issue is. She should talk to him 1st in the situation anyway.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@AngelUnforgiven in this particular situation it wasn't that I couldn't talk to my partner. I needed immediate help and beyond his mother's negative experience and his trustee friend Google he couldn't advise me on anything regarding the post partum stage of the pregnancy.

His sulking was because he felt helpless, but instead of accepting that this wasn't an area he could help me in he went against my wishes which was "b milk first then formula to top up" so when he had baby in the other room and I was resting instead of waking me up like agreed he gave formula.
SoLeRiMix · 36-40, M
A husband might feel left out only if he is not aware of the female problem at all. Once he knows it, he himself would want his woman to consult other women or a medical professional.
BillyMack · 46-50, M
Not if he’s secure in who he is. Now if he is insecure, then yeah it will matter to him.
Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F
My husband would have been glad to be left out forever
Lilymoon · F
No, not at all
Not really. Contraception and pregnancy would involve him, but the other physical issues are probably not things he could advise her on—unless he’s also a doctor.
AngelUnforgiven · 51-55, F
If she's seeking advice from females then she should get from females. Her husband should understand that.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@AngelUnforgiven I'll respond to both comments.
So in this scenario I had just given birth and was experiencing immediate pain and needed advice straightaway as my milk was coming in.
My aunt is a midwife and my mum was here to help the first 2 weeks.
My mum consulted my aunt X midwife what to do and how to manage the pain.
My partner was in the living room, as this was coming through over text due to us needing our hands free when I had the opportunity I shared the texts with my partner.
But he couldn't advise me on this subject especially as his mum didn't breast feed any of her children.
The only thing he could contribute was the fact that the midwife she spoke to made her feel like crap for not producing enough milk.

As a consequence of this scenario he became irrate because I was sharing information and he wasn't in the room whilst this was all occured, he claimed the messages had no context and he didn't understand why my aunt was advising certain things.

He later didn't help with my desire to breastfeed and would make bottled formula instead of waking me up to nurse the baby so my supply reduced significantly.
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
No! On the other hand, a woman should not be uncomfortable talking to her husband about it.
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
I hope she would go to a health professional.
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
@Mellowgirl much better.
Mellowgirl · 31-35, F
@samueltyler2 in this instance this was the case. Males wasn't excluded just included after advise was had. Unfortunately this didn't sit well with him
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
@Mellowgirl really, that is wild. my dermatologist said something that surprised me, because the usual thinking is opposite. we were discussing the fact that he really never examines the genital areas, and I wondered if the patient admits to going to a nude beach he would, or are the serious skin cancers unlikely to occur there, he was freezing off sone precancerous growths from my hand and back. He said that if a man spots something there, he comes in immediately, and women go to GYNs who examine that area. He proceeded to tell me of a woman whose melanoma, the most serious and life threatening skin cancers, died of disseminated melanoma and at autopsy was found to have the primary between her buttocks. I said, please examine me thoroughly!
Only if he’s very insecure.
100% situational.
Wiseacre · F
God, no…men go to other men for advice. Women go to women!
tobynshorty · 51-55, F
No unless he is immature
Musicman · 61-69, M
No. Some problems are just female. Guys wouldn't know anything about it.

 
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