A lot of you have been very helpful lately 🖤

Even just the hearts & hugs mean a lot 🙏 so thank you.

There's a lot I'm trying to realize & figure out. A lot of it is really hard to face. Sometimes you don't want to & you fight it but at the end of the day that only keeps you hurting for longer.

There is no victim or villain here. It's just life & it doesn't go how we want sometimes. But I think when things go south, my heart doesn't wanna let go & I try too hard to hold on.
I don't want the memories to be just memories.. I don't want the dreams to be just dreams.
But they're all still beautiful even if that's all they ever get to be.

I hate how bad things have gotten. I never wanted to be this hurt & I never wanted to hurt anyone else 💔
I didn't express my feelings here for people to feel sorry for me either... I just needed the help. So thanks again 🙏 I don't want this sad stuff to take over my account anymore so I'm trying, I promise.

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BlueVeins · 22-25

It's ok to be sad and to vent here. What's this site all about if it's not?

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@BlueVeins I just feel like I'm here to be positive. & All these negative feelings isn't what I wanna push across on here. I just can't help it rn. It's tough

BrokenAbyss

We appreciate you sharing your feelings. It’s brave of you and why so many here believe in you. I think it’s important to take the shame out of having lows. Good for you for allowing others to help too. That’s a huge risk. I’m glad you have the support you do.

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@BrokenAbyss thanks. Usually it feels more weak than brave tbh. I appreciate people caring but I also know that this stuff isn't like me. I'm usually the one trying to be happy & helpful to others & rn it feels like I'm sad & asking for help. It seems so opposite of the usual me. I don't want that to take over.

People being supportive means a lot but I want everyone to know this won't be me forever 🖤

BrokenAbyss

@ChiefJustWalks We know sweetheart. That’s why so many people came to you with support. We see you. Your kindness is returned to you with love and respect.

But also, it’s okay to be weak sometimes. Even the greatest warriors need rest.

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@BrokenAbyss 🥺🤗

Dainbramadge · 56-60, M

Wow. I can't believe I missed this before.
You are really fucked.
I know what is wrong with you.
It's called being passionate.
Don't be embarrassed that you have extra strong feelings.
Most of the world is a dried up mess when it comes to feelings.
Think about this. When you are happy everyone around you is happy with you right?
Every one knows when Chief is in a good mood right?
So why would you try to hide being in a bad mood.
How many people do you think read your stuff recently or may in the future and thought "Wow, I'm not the only one who goes through this".
Dude, I will tell you know ain't nobody takes a break up as hard as me.
I'm the one who over analyzes everything I did from day one and spends every waking moment trying to figure out how I am going to fix it. Never mind how toxic the relationship was it was all my fault and I need to fix it.
At least you didn't just laugh and say .. better luck to me next time.
When some one is in a relationship with you it means everything to you and you put 20,700% into it.
Don't be ashamed of it dude.. own that shit.

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@Dainbramadge yeah pretty much man. I love strongly & I kinda hate that I'm like that. When I love, I love hard so when I hurt it hurts even harder. The painful stuff is harder to show because I like being positive. I like laughing & joking around more than anything, I don't wanna make anyone else sad with me.

I'm kinda like you with breakups I guess. I just think over everything.. the good, the bad, & try to figure it all out. Even though I know it won't fix anything, I constantly wish that I could

Dainbramadge · 56-60, M

@ChiefJustWalks Comes with the territory I guess.
You know you could find a good way to channel those feelings in music.
You have mentioned you writing lyrics before.
Feeling stuff as strongly as you are going to no matter what may as well hold some benefits for you as well.
Give it a shot. Write what you feel so deeply in verse.
Not everyone can do that.

Reject · 26-30, M

All you need to do is try. That’s more than enough and more than most people do. I never could let go, so I didn’t. That’s something I never figured out.

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Reject · 26-30, M

@ChiefJustWalks I do the same. For me it’s a matter of honoring my love for them. I figure my love wouldn’t mean much if I just stopped caring because they were gone.

Part of the reason I’m any sort of decent now is because I was in your place about 5 years ago, where a girl I love more than anything decided to leave me. A lot of what I do now is with her in mind. Being the best I can be because she’d want that. There’s also no where else for my love to go than her memory.

ChiefJustWalks · 26-30

@Reject i think for me, it's not the best thing to think that way. Striving to be the person that they would've wanted.. it keeps me from striving to be the person that I would've wanted myself. Even if they're both similar anyway. & Idk who I want to be but I know that wishing I was the right person for someone else is a sad road that never takes me anywhere.
Even if I don't expect anything out of it, I can't allow myself to think "this is out of love for her". You gotta think about the love for yourself, & do it for that. The hard part is finding love for ourself.
I struggle with that & I can't be the only one there.

Reject · 26-30, M

@ChiefJustWalks Fair enough. That makes sense. For someone like me, putting someone else first is putting myself first because that’s what I truly want. It’s how I love myself. It’s good you know what you’re like and how it’s different, but concerning that you’re not even sure of what that is.

ExperienceDLT · M

Nothing wrong with opening up about the pain you go through but try to not hold onto that pain cause itvwill eat you up inside man

PiecingBabyFaceTogether · 31-35, M

🤗 You deserve peace buddy

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

You are human, you deserve to feel the way you feel and share those feelings here.

You have mentioned you have a hard time sharing how you feel with others in real life. You need to share your thoughts here and get them out or they are going to eat you from the inside.

You are a very positive guy and you have been uplifting to people here. Well now it’s your turn to receive the same treatment you have given.

This will pass and things will get easier in time but in the mean time you should share your feelings here so we can support you and lift you up 💖💜💞.

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