i often wonder what if my hopes never become a reality

There is no destiny because you are in control. If you want a mate then find one! if you want to be alone then do that! you control what happens in your life. As the saying goes there's someone for everyone. You just haven't met your person yet. I've worked years with people with mental and physical disabilities and conditions from schizophrenia to downes syndrome and several of them have jobs, and mates and are living happy. So they are my motivation if someone has the mentality of a 9 year old, he has a girlfriend and a job at a restaurant that he's been at for 17 years now, there's absolutely zero excuse for anyone else to say that they can't have the same. There's one guy with downes working at Popeyes chicken restaurant, he drives a pickup truck that he bought with his hard earned money and I have people crying to me about what they can't do 🙄 one thing that my line of work has taught me is that anyone is capable of anything!

If I know anything its that dwelling on stuff always makes it worse. Instead of sitting there beating yourself up with these ideas, why not take up some hobbies? Join some clubs? Go to the gym? It'll make you feel so much better and who knows who you'll meet on the way. Your life isn't over, you're just in a rut.