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Do you ever find at times in your life that your not in the mood to talk to people . (Im very odd that way)

At times then I comes across that I'm interested in them when I'm not and I have to keep up the happy face when I'm not happy , then my brain starts racing after all of the .
I wonder is it symptoms of heavy depression I have .
Before a person said to me your very odd and you dont talk as much anymore and at that time he said that I was actually very happy in myself .
I gets annoyed with myself a lot over that kind of stuff like keeping up appearances when I dont be in the mood to do Jack and have happy face cause that stuff really wrecks my head .
I'm just trying to find myself properly but it's never ending hurdles to go over .
Then when I'm good in myself I starts to mess ny own life up by acting out things I dont like acting out on .
I dont know if its depression I have or not cause at times I be thinking ofmf ending it all and I wouldn't say it to the doctor cause all they do is put you on meds which I dont want .
I'm afraid to be myself and when I'm not my head is goosed .
curiosi · 56-60, F
As an introvert I get exhausted interacting with people. Solitude for me is a fount of healing. Talking is often a torment to me for which I need many days of solitude to recover.
riseofthemachine · 36-40, M
[@423488,curiosi] I need a lot of healing curiosi , but when I'm good in myself, I can mess myself up by acting out .
It's good to hear from you curiosi.
Gaiia · F
I understand absolutely, and it feels like too much social interaction drains me... 😐. Specially if it's with some people...
I understand pretending sucks. Usually I need lots of time to recharge
SW User
I can relate 🤗
riseofthemachine · 36-40, M
[@999470,x1x1x] it's very hard cause my personality is if you dont socialize, your weird , and when I do socialize I gets messed up .
SW User
[@967456,riseofthemachine] 🤗
smiler2012 · 56-60, M
[@967456,riseofthemachine] do at work l like to concentration on what I am doing not be distracted by people on about nothing important
riseofthemachine · 36-40, M
[@1159,CallmeHopelessNotRomantic] that's a terrible thing to suffer with PTSD . I suffer from that before and it can come back up from different triggers in my life .
I had a couple of nervous breakdowns but growth came with each one .
It's like a fear of separation
I spend the entire month of October and the first 2 weeks of November like this.
[@967456,riseofthemachine] I just avoid everybody. I'm not ever ok with hurting people and I'm pretty sure I would. I don't wanna ever want to hurt people, but it is a really bad time for me.
riseofthemachine · 36-40, M
[@1159,CallmeHopelessNotRomantic] Is it personal problems ? .
When people hurt me I end up hurting myself cause I suppress all the anger in towards me .
[@967456,riseofthemachine] I have PTSD and this is one of those times. I lash out. Mostly because when I'm like that, I don't really pay attention to how I say things or say something that wouldn't bother me but it does others. With the distraction I don't think about what I'm saying until it's too late.
Magenta · F
To your question... Very much so. It can be exhausting.
riseofthemachine · 36-40, M
[@1173,Magenta] thanks , very painful mentally. It's the worst pain ever . My body get numb from it

 
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