Apart from infidelity, what is a big 'no, no' in a relationship?

I understand how this is effecting you but have you tried to talk to her about how it is affecting HER? Hot flushes are simply dreadful. It's not like a normal feeling of being hot, it is something quite different. It is very embarrassing and If she has been struggling with irregular or very heavy periods, it is even worse. She may be feeling terribly guilty about her lack of sex drive too and yet is not able to talk about it to you. She is very young to go through the menopause and to simply go on HRT is not always the best answer. It comes with health risks and as a nurse, she may well see evidence of this in her patients. I would suggest talking to her again but definitely not AT her and try to be a little empathic towards how she is feeling too. I would imagine it must be pretty scary to see your body prematurely age in this way in your thirties.
By the tone of your writing, I'm not sure that your relationship can be saved as there is a hint of resentment coming through but if you do actually still love her then it may be worth a try. Good luck for the future. @Roadsterrider

@pennynoodles I have tried to talk to her about how it affects her, about how it affects me. I have tried to get her to talk about how she feels about it, she isn't interested in talking about it at all. Yes, there is some resentment. I have been dealing with this for over a decade. Sex isn't the biggest or most important thing in a relationship unless you aren't getting any, then it becomes a bigger thing. Stop and think about the intimacy outside of the bedroom that you share with a significant other, a caress as he/she walks by, snuggling on the couch, tender words, playing footsies while eating out. None of that comes my way. I have a roommate that I get to have sex with on special occasions. The love part is tricky, not sure I still do.

@eMortal Tried to get counseling, she informed me that she didn't need counseling, if I wanted to go to counseling for what was my problem, go ahead but she doesn't have a need for counseling.

I agree@Pinkstarburst

@Pinkstarburst This

Yes, I agree@soulsrespite

@suchaslife you just described me 😂

@Nanori Ooops lol

Of course@Ramon67

Yes@HootyTheNightOwl

@HootyTheNightOwl abuse in any relationship is totally unacceptable. It is qhy I left my ex.

Oh yes@stound

@stound like glamor pictures at the mall.

@Tiusflow I'd think it depends greatly on why, how often and how much something like that costs, but possibly.

@pennynoodles blame it on the day job . Those seem to be the most common reason people divorce ... other than infidelity ...and I should have added one partner losing interest in sex and expecting the other to tough it out

This often doesn't show itself until later on in a relationship. @TexChik

@pennynoodles true , usually after the kids are teens .

Well. I try to most of the time always when on a date and she is wearing a short skirt@pennynoodles

and trousers?@Anopenheart

Yes@pennynoodlesi am always checking her out. She loves it

You have to be discreet.@PrivateHell

OH......damn....*.hides bump under the patio......@DunningKruger

What about 'abuse about hogging the tv remote?'@FigNewton

Yes, not nice@SW-User

Seriously! Then it makes it harder for those that love them to tolerate their partner because you feel they’re trash like they told you they were@bijouxbroussard

I've actually had to sit and listen to 'stuff' once that I thought was dreadful. And they went right back to them. @Mrsbetweenfatandfit

@bijouxbroussard My sister was guilty of that. When she and her husband fought, she’d tell us all these horrible things, then when they [b]made up[/b], she wouldn’t understand why we’d be glaring at him over family supper. 🙄

We have got raincoats that are pretty similar, we call them our Harold and Hilda coats. @sciguy18

Talk, talk, talk and listen, listen and listen@GJOFJ3

Sad when it resorts to that@DrScissorhands

Indeed. @pennynoodles

too many people suffer from this.@eMortal

@Fungirlmmm it always comes down to that.

@jetpack violence and lies are hard limits for me.

yes@DearAmbellina2113

@pennynoodles Your husband is reasonable. My sister-in-law openly FLIRTS. Men she has never met open with "Hi, baby!" and they ask her for money to come see her, or ask her to leave her husband and come to stay with them. And she doesn't discourage one of them.

@MaryJanine That is definitely wrong behavior.

@SW-User I know that. Tell me about it. She thinks there is nothing wrong with it - they are "friends". She is an infant as far as social media is concerned. She doesn't realize not everything is truthful on there and you CAN get into serious trouble with what you post.

dear..... I find it patronising@JoyfulSilence

@pennynoodles

"Yes, baby doll, honey buns, sweetie pie, snookums."

Oh they are all sickly sweet but 'dear' is just patronising. @JoyfulSilence

OO@saragoodtimes

That's not good. @ThePerfectUsername

But surely we should put faith in our partner.@SW-User

@pennynoodles some, but not too much. It's best that we remember that our partners are only human after all, and just as falable as ourselves.

Yes, I know this. ...@SW-User

I know that, that is why I asked the question@Nanori

Yes, not acceptable. @MaryJanine

OH god, has that actually happened to you?@NeloAngelo

@pennynoodles it was my mates couch at his home but it was still a f'ked up sight to walk in on. never looked at him the same way. never sat in his house either.

apparently you can soak a dishtowel in lube and slot it in between the couch cushions and well.... makeshift sex toy.

😱🤮@NeloAngelo

@pennynoodles I was being a bit facetious.

The only true unacceptable issue would be a refusal to watch conjoined twin porn.

Who would refuse that? Jeez, so close-minded some people 😜@SW-User

@pennynoodles It's a crazy world.

Fair enough@RemovedUsername909897

Yes@AllAboutLaffs

Trouble is, once a lie is told and found out, it is hard to believe next time round.@Snowvixen

Yes, you should@bijouxbroussard

What, never?@RogueLoner