That awkward moment when you're having a random conversation with your partner with all that playful banter and then suddenly

@Crazychick It was not any such euphemism until recenrtly. It always meant light-hearted chatter and teasing between friends.

In certain situations this could include "black humour": in-jokes and slang unacceptable normally but helping each other cope with very difficult, even dangerous, situations. Usually though it was harmless and if someone did go too far, could be told so and could apologise there and then.

"Banter" is another innocent word that has become warped to mean merely unpleasant or insulting talk - "hate" is a stronger word still.

@ArishMell Insulting people is not humour. It is not funny. There is nothing innocent about it. As for teasing, that's a form of bullying and therefore it is really sinister.

@Crazychick No, insulting people is not funny and I did not say it is.

There is teasing in fun and there is teasing in bullying, and evebn without going that far it can be a fine line to tread. To avoid causing offence all need know each other well enough to know the limits - and to be prepared to apologise immediately if they overstep them.

One of my small groups of close friends do tease each other quite a bit in fun, and it is all innocent. That's because we know what we can say and what not to say to each other, and it frequently matches the situation. We would not try it with a newcomer until we know his or her sense of humour and delicate points. And certainly not a stranger.

People have sometimes said hurtful things to me for no apparent reason, and that is hard to take. I am not easily offended but am easily hurt; but that is quite different from the sort of banter I regard as purely that.

Of course we should not pick on each other, but if we had to subject all our speech to some sort of hard-line self-censorship we'd be a right humourless lot, and probably very shy.

@ArishMell Not necessarily. There is plenty of humour without resorting to insults.

@Crazychick I agree, and I have never condoned insults.