How do you learn to trust someone after they get "emotional"?

It's mostly women I have this problem with, platonic or otherwise. I do something they don't like, then they fly off the handle, and then suddenly we're friends again like nothing happened? I'm sitting here scratching my head like "what the actual f***?!?!"

I try to keep my distance so I can process, but then they try to fix it and then as soon as I let my guard down it happens all over again. Any advice?

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OogieBoogie · F

Perhaps the "flying off the handle" is a coping mechanism: a way to let out all their pent up feelings.
(Esp if they then go back to normal).

Sometimes when people do that its not about fixing it ....its about listening, actually hearing their desperation and understanding their inner conflict or hurt or whatever.

My concern is that you need to 'keep your guard up'.

These two things could be connected 🤔

GohantheThird · M

@OogieBoogie it's just so polarizing. They freak out and then expect everything to be okay in 5 min. Hard pass.

OogieBoogie · F

@GohantheThird yeah, it can be hard to deal with.
They dont see how much they emotion dump.

But people deal with emotions differently.
Some deal with them as they feel them. Some bury them until they build up - and explode.
Some - never let their feelings be shown at all.

This person seems to be a 'build up' type person.

They are hard coz you get ' a whole bunch of lots of little moments of feels all at once' - so its not just 'one thing' you have to deal with.

Empathics deal with these people better as they pick up on subtleties and head these outbursts off before they build up.

All i can offer is try and up your communication?
Doubly make sure that they are ok with solutions or compromises and such so shit doesnt build up ?🤷‍♀

GohantheThird · M

@OogieBoogie sadly with this particular person it wouldn't work. If it isn't their idea, it's not an idea worth pursuing.

OogieBoogie · F

@GohantheThird hmmm.
Those type of people are difficult to negotiate