An elderly man walks into a crowded hospital waiting room and goes up to the receptionist.......

"Why do you need to see the doctor?" she asks.

"There's something wrong with my dick," says the geezer.

"Don't say that out here in front of everybody," scolds the receptionist. "Up here, say something like 'There's something wrong with my ear.' Then, when you go in to see the doctor, discuss the real problem in private."

"Now," says the receptionist, "Let's try again. Why do you need to see the doctor?"

The old man says, "There's something wrong with my ear."

The receptionist asks, "And what is wrong with your ear?"

And the old man says, "I can't piss out of it."