Met my boyfriend's parents for the first time while their grandkids were leaking down my leg and chin

I almost crashed my car because a spider flew in through the window and landed between my face and my glasses...
Or the time i went on a hay ride and jumped down from the trailer and my foot got caught on the hitch making me fall into an ant nest and it was the really big red ants...
Or the time i thought i was being cute and set up a picnic and it was over a red ant nest and one bit me so hard it couldnt release from my arm and i was running around screaming until someonewas able to get it off...
Or the time my vibrator started sparking from over use and almost caught my bed on fire....( that one was a personal embarrassment and thankfully no witnesses)
Or the time my mom mopped the floor at midnight and i thought i could go get some water only to slip and fall and slide across the floor to crash into the shoe rack. I sprained both ankles and had to hobble for awhile...
Or the time i got caught with my hand down this guys pants at an award ceremony...
Or the time I got my ankle stuck in an exercise elliptical and sprained it to the point I needed crutches. I lied about how I got my injury for 3 weeks...

Theres probably a ton more i can come up with... im a bit of a disaster...

Opening my heart to the wrong person.

Probably getting my clothes stolen when I was skinny dipping and having to run home naked

Having this as President for four years.

Ugh... So very many things 🙈 Everything from pissing myself AND splitting my pants on the same day at almost the exact same time AT SCHOOL to wiping out on a sheet of ice in front of an insanely hot guy. I'm full of embarrassing blunders😩 hahahahakillme

There was that time that I froze my tongue onto a rooftop air conditioner.... 🥴

My behavior, more than a few times in life, has been awful.

I dunno, probably one of the few times I've had to be catheterized at this point. 🤔

Being born naked in front of a bunch of strangers. It made me cry!

Oh, there's tonnes...but after a night's drinking, falling down the steps of a nightclub, in front of a lot of people, and breaking my arm...then being taken to A & E...

That wasn't my best moment!

😱

SJD x

When I was younger my pawpaw bought me a new swimsuit …white swimsuit…I thought it was so elegant until I got it wet. Must have been 10-15 minutes before I realized.

<-shameless

My makeshift pad falling out while running laps in PE

Walked into a giant pane of glass I thought was the entrance at a mall store after spending a week building up the courage to ask out the girl working the counter. She had said yes. I never called her 😆

It’s a long list

Being born, nude, covered in goo, yelling the place down. No dignity.

there's a short list

Realizing I was cheated on and people around me knew and said nothing.

Every time I cried in public as a late teen or an adult for a stupid reason.

Having to read the word ejaculated out loud in middle school was pretty embarrassing. It was in the context of being ejected from a plane, but still. I have no idea why the author chose that word when there are things called synonyms

Speaking without thinking