Which embarrassing information would you like your obituary to overlook?

The fact that i have this account

My gold medal from the World Masturbation Championship.🥇

Anything embarrassing is private only to me illvtake it to my grave

No paper ain't telling things about me. I'll tell them myself.

I doubt I'll even have an attendance at my funeral

My nickname was "Stubby."

No obit for me. I'll just leave everyone wondering what the hell happened.

I wrote my own. I'll haunt them if they don't use it.

Where I lie to rest

Nothing I’d discuss here. 🤫

All the juicy stuff.