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Moral Dilemma

My sister and I are both graduating from college this year. I am graduating from a university, and she is graduating from a community college. I think this is a big achievement for both of us, and I am very proud of her. But I think she doesn't like when I talk about graduating. Not, that she has a problem with it. But she is graduating first. She will be graduating in a few weeks actually. Less than two weeks from now. I will be graduating in December of this year. I have one more semester of school. We have a family group chat where we talk and share our accomplishments. I just found out that I am graduating with honors/distinction. Cum Laude to be exact. I want to share it with our family in the group chat, but I don't want to seem like I am outshining or stealing her moment. But I have told my family that I want to graduate with distinction. It has been a goal of mine, and I am happy to have achieved it. I want to tell them that I finally know for a fact that I am going to do it. It is based on your cumulative GPA before the semester you graduate. I am so excited I feel like crying. I failed two classes when I dropped out in 2017 because I did not officially withdraw. I was discouraged from going back until 2019 came around and I changed my mind. I pushed through and was able to bring my GPA up to almost 3.4, and I now I am graduating cum laude. I am so excited because I have gone through so much shit. I just want to share it without seeming like I am stealing her moment.
Freeranger · M
You aren't.

She will be having her moment in two weeks. Yours will be in December. I'm sure you will be there to support her in her success and, I'm sure she will support you in December.
Do all things with grace, decorum, and style. You can be all of those things and still show your emotions with the sense of accomplishment you should be proud of.
Well done. There is a sense of class in keeping your light under that basket I suppose, but on these types of occasions, I think it requires you propping it up on one edge so that a little of that light gets to shine.
Budwick · 70-79, M
I want to share it with our family in the group chat, but I don't want to seem like I am outshining or stealing her moment.

Then don't.

WAIT.
Congratulations! :)
I don't think it's really such a dilemma.
It seems to me that the easiest way to handle it is to keep quiet about your own accomplishments until the actual moment when you graduate.

Give your sister lots of praise in your family group chat; mention all she has achieved and how these skills will help improve her future life.
Maybe write her a special card and give her a special gift.
Maybe prepare a celebratory meal for her, or help her create a celebration party for her and her friends.

Also in the meantime, prepare your plans for how you would like to celebrate.

What were your subjects?
What fields of work are you most interested in?
What would you like your future direction to be?
You can easily wait until October or so to toot that horn.......

**Same thing happened to me but it was my niece who was graduating just ahead of me. I just kept it quiet and no one knew I was the valedictorian until they read the program...

She had a great graduation at her school and I .... well I went and did a graveyard shift later the night of graduation... (I was the 'old guy' going to college @ 43... married with kids and all)

I wanted the degree knowing that I would be hired by another company at a significantly higher wage.
It sounds like it's important to you to not trample on your sister's feelings about her moment of achievement. That sounds like love to me.

Is there any way to share your news privately with your other close family member without sharing it in the group chat? Perhaps ask them to keep it confidential until a month or so after you sister has graduated?

It feels so exciting to do exceptionally well.

Sounds like the break from study helped you to return with renewed energy and awareness of how much work it takes to excel with the rubrics.

What are your subjects?
How will you use them after you graduate?
therighttothink50 · 56-60, M
There is no reason to share it before you graduate. Walk humbly when you achieve....

Everyone needs to be humble, especially when they win.

[media=https://youtu.be/8iShuZvyDHA]
OldBrit · 61-69, M
Congrats on the success.

I hope you steered through this OK
Saucylover · 26-30, F
@OldBrit I did! And thanks btw.
Wait until dec
smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F
Keep it a secret till December
MonaReeves86 · 36-40, F
What did you both study ? And what do you plan on doing, in the future?

 
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