"Affectionate” insults—I don’t really do them.

I agree. Friendship and affection should be cause for elevation of the person, not diminishing them. As you say, the world supplies more than enough.

I [i]think[/i] it is a way of owning those epithets and extracting the sting.

I suppose my age has saved me from being on the receiving end, for the most part.

The minimum level of ethics requires your standard. People justify a lot of cruel behaviors by saying ”hey I am that way with my friends.”

It hits me kinda the same way. Though I have occasionally been called racial insults(kiddingly) by members of my own nationalities, it's.....kinda stupid. I (a white dude) was also called the N word a bunch of times half-goofingly, half-not by a black guy. Just seems like bad bad karma. You can joke all you want, but I'm uncomfortable with these names having been called out during violence against people.

Neither friend nor foe will I use nasty nor slur words.

I fact I have had words with those that have on my own posts. I have even warned both sides a few times about such language on my own posts.

Elsewhere not much I can do about it.

In my circle, I come from a very working class dockyard working family, c*nt was commonly a term of endearment. You'd do something silly and dad would laugh "You dozy c*nt". I was some age before I understood it was such an insult to others.

With rare and specific exceptions, neither do I. Those rare exceptions though, have and never would include any racial slur...or "c*nt". I sort of [i]get[/i] the reasoning behind using and [b]owning[/b] a word to supposedly lessen the power of it to hurt and demean, but...the words are still ugly to me.

I feel the same. It instantly makes me disconnect from them, whether I want to or not.

Recently someone told me the "B" word was considered in this culture to be as bad as the "n" word. I don't think it's even close. When I was young, F*CK was the worst word you could say. Now it's like saying uh or hmmm

Someone has given you an affectionate insult recently? I'm so sorry, people need to watch their tongues at times. I've seen it too many times, whereas a little thought of what you are saying, recognizing another person, goes a long way.

I agree..when my Dad and I were having one of our many impromptu talks,this on slurs cursing and swearing,he said,When you're in the Navy everybody cusses...even the Chaplain tells you to get to blankety-blank services..then you come home and get re-civilized......

Same here.

I understand, but at the same time the use of epithets that way does seem to be a pretty wide-spread thing. I sort of buy the old Lenny Bruce concept that if we use words, make them our own, they eventually lose their power to hurt. But if we try and ban them we keep re-enforcing their power. Our very act of reaction makes them powerful?

On the other hand, I find myself using curses and epithets these days that I never used in the past and think it's because the internet is so filled with them.

Which is why I love and respect you. Those things are so low brow.

I completely agree. I can't stand it.

I was never a fan either.

I agree.

I saw that post and I agree. It also felt very unnatural for her.

I honestly think she meant no harm by it but I had nothing to add on the post because I feel the same way that you do about that type of thing.

I don't understand that tbh, I wouldn't want to be friends with people like that