How do you handle this?

Your only son goes to university.
He is studying his passion music... His teachers are impressed with his talent and tell him he has soo much potential so much so they're putting him forward for various opportunities..
Covid happens and he's lockdown with his class mates. Between studying and working at Marks and Spencers he get covid 3 times.
During which he has to order in a lot because they're told to isolate.
When things start to open up again he falls behind on his work, he shows signs of anxiety.
You tell him to come home for a break but he has no desire to fix things. His rooms a tip and he's going out til all hours with his mates.
When you drop him home at uni you see there's no food shopping his rooms a tip with mouldy plates etc.
Anyways you help him to clean up.
You think there's hope as he gets a girlfriend she then takes on the mum role paying for him to go on holiday and looking after him. But it's not really sufficient as they're so young they haven't a clue.
His behaviour gets so bad you send him to the drs and after many screenings it's seems he has adhd.
He's given meds and told to take them... Without alcohol.
He's mixing them and not taking them properly.
Now what...
On top of this he regularly calls through the night asking for money, he buys concert tickets and friends cancel on him so you go in their place. The differing opinions between parents means he's pitting them off each other...
How do you resolve this issue. Especially when he is so far behind the uni is saying he just won't make it through?

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smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F

Well after reading this the problem isn't having ADHD. U said he did well in high school but not so well in college. I say the problem is his friend's. Going out all the time and drinking isn't good. He needs to stop seeing them so much and get to work on his studies.

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@smileylovesgaming you might be the only person that has noticed this!

bhatjc · 46-50, M

@smileylovesgaming Agree with that

smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F

@bhatjc @Mellowgirl tell u the truth if that was my child I would be on him like glue on paper. Make him clean up that room. Make him do his laundry and put it up. Tell him no going out till his grades are up. I sure wouldn't be going to concerts with them

bhatjc · 46-50, M

@smileylovesgaming Even better after the Quarantine was lifted.

smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F

@bhatjc that could be why he got the C bug 3 time's

bhatjc · 46-50, M

@smileylovesgaming Possible

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@smileylovesgaming he's in London UK, whilst his mums in Derby.
Now his mum asked my mum to meet up and my mum said she would invite him for Sunday dinner but she hasn't.
My mum is unreliable and a bull shitter so to speak. So he could be in crippling depression and my mum would say "not my problem" but somehow manage to convince others that she's such a nice person.
I've come here to speak to you guys because I used to speak to the mum, I didn't know how to advise her I just explained what my experience was a university and said that although he's struggling he may feel compelled to spend time with his "mates" because the creative sector is so cliquey!

Especially if he's living among trust fund kids!

smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F

@Mellowgirl I would push him to get a different degree. My cousin does singing and stage work. It is a very hard career to get into and it doesn't make much money at all. My cousin lives pay check to pay check with it

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@smileylovesgaming I don't think you, me, his mum anyone could do that. Especially as he's worked so hard to get to this stage every one knows this including me. Yet what did I do. Went to university to get a degree in a creative course.
I think those that do the course including me think we stand a chance. And like anything you have to work bloody hard at it.
He needs to complete his degree and focus on doing the work otherwise it would have been a waste of time.

smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F

@Mellowgirl trust me my cousin is amazing at singing and stage work. It doesn't make much money at all. He had to find work elsewhere to pay off his college loans. He worked at a car dealership and ambulance service and now he does computer programming.

Mellowgirl · 31-35, F

@smileylovesgaming and unfortunately that is story of most creatives life. That's nothing new.