It's unfortunate how some people want to make everything- even grief a competition...

However ,I will be compassionate ...
Another ,sister's husband has been diagnosed with cancer and it will end in his death.
Of course I feel compassion and wish it wasn't happening, AGAIN!!
I wish, I couldn't see that she wants to compete on who's the saddest, has had /will have the greatest loss, and I'm not sure she knows that she doesn't have to do that.
Perhaps, it's the only way she can deal with it?
But, whatever the psychology I know how terrible it is to find out your husband has cancer and it can't be cured.
I don't understand why this is happening so often, it feels like soon all our husbands will be dead.
7 sisters only 3 still have husbands and one we now know is on the way out.
And out of the 2 one is in very bad health.

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PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F

It does feel like the biggest loss and the worst pain anyone could ever feel. I never felt so sad or isolated. Maybe she's just trying to communicate that rather than compete as such?

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@PatientlyWaiting25
I hope so, she's always reacted this way.
I'd rather have us consoling each other than discussing who has having the worst pain out of all of us.

When our kids are growing up and you tried to talk about something that was going on with them she would actually say that her kids had it worse or her grandkids had it worse right to your face.

PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F

@Justmeraeagain some people have a glass half empty outlook on life too.

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@PatientlyWaiting25 I know what my sister's like and she did not treat me very well when my husband was dying.
She didn't treat my sister Melanie very well when her partner was dying.
She yelled at my sister Jill over something stupid when she was upset over her husband dying.
She was messaging most of my family telling them what kind of cancer my husband had when I didn't even know myself.
And she got mad when she was called on it.
I will be compassionate towards her however ,because this kind of thing merits compassion.

PatientlyWaiting25 · 46-50, F

@Justmeraeagain compassion isn't always easy, especially in situations where you were hurt yourself but that's the right thing to do ❤