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Talking about negative topic with cancer patients?

I'm not sure whether to bring up the horrible pain my dad let me go through. He' has weeks left to live, we learned last week. It's a very rapid advance cancer😔
I've been very positive with him since he began feeling ill two months ago.

I help him, get him what he needs, try to laugh, give him extra snacks he likes. But that pain from years ago was never resolved. I experienced extreme debilitating abuse daily as a child , into my 20's from my psychopath mother. I have
crippling PTSD now from it. He would laugh when I cried many years ago, after she'd bully me or scream or threaten me. To laugh at my pain?🙁That's horrible plus for years would deny her assaults.
My sister wanted to tell him how she felt too, and she said This affected her entire LIFE. But on the other hand I know he's suffering. And if the empathy I've grown to have tells me anything, it's never add to someone's suffering...it's very hard even thinking of doing that. I guess I could mention it in passing but not stay on the topic. I do want him to feel calm and positive as much as possible.

But we may need to ask if he'd like to be buried or cremated..another sad topic. Is that ok to bring up?
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sarabee1995 · 26-30, F
He knows he's terminal, right?

If so, then keep it simple and direct...

"Dad, have you given and thought or made any final plans we should know about?"

Leave all the history in history. We are all God's children and none of us are perfect. 😔
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@sarabee1995 I might still mention it but for a short minute or two. And end it on a positive note...or I may not say anything. That's a good way to bring up burial , Thank you.
sarabee1995 · 26-30, F
@Coralmist This is just my view and my opinion, but I try very hard not to hold any grudges in life. Many people have said some very hurtful things to me. Things that are very hard to forget because the wounds can be deep. So forgetting is impossible.

But forgiving is something we can do. And not for them, but for us. Release the suppressed anger and angst, recognize them as just another struggling child of God who messed up, and grant them the grace of imperfection.

Don't say anything. He hurt you. I don't discount that at all. But here you are still caring for him, visiting him, loving him. That's the energy you want to put out into the world. Not a last reminder to a dying man that he was an SOB. 🤷‍♂

❤🙏❤
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@sarabee1995 Well that's why I said I'd end it on a positive note and my love for my dad. But to say absolutely nothing doesn't feel right either. But, I may say nothing. I'm still unsure. I'd be phrasing it in what I wish our relationship could have been, and how as a dad I wished he could have been on my side, and not a psychotic narcissists. I appreciate your words Sara🌺