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Talking about negative topic with cancer patients?

I'm not sure whether to bring up the horrible pain my dad let me go through. He' has weeks left to live, we learned last week. It's a very rapid advance cancer😔
I've been very positive with him since he began feeling ill two months ago.

I help him, get him what he needs, try to laugh, give him extra snacks he likes. But that pain from years ago was never resolved. I experienced extreme debilitating abuse daily as a child , into my 20's from my psychopath mother. I have
crippling PTSD now from it. He would laugh when I cried many years ago, after she'd bully me or scream or threaten me. To laugh at my pain?🙁That's horrible plus for years would deny her assaults.
My sister wanted to tell him how she felt too, and she said This affected her entire LIFE. But on the other hand I know he's suffering. And if the empathy I've grown to have tells me anything, it's never add to someone's suffering...it's very hard even thinking of doing that. I guess I could mention it in passing but not stay on the topic. I do want him to feel calm and positive as much as possible.

But we may need to ask if he'd like to be buried or cremated..another sad topic. Is that ok to bring up?
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Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F
If you decide to discuss it with him you cannot expect him to suddenly accept where he failed you.
He may not, that is a reality.
I worry that you may put too much hope in an apology that might not come.
If it was me, I would silently forgive him without any apology, not accept what has happened, but for my own sanity.
Nothing gets resolved totally ,because you can't resolve years of abuse in one or two conversations.
GovanDUNNY · M
@Justmeraeagain You are totally spot on .
Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F
@GovanDUNNY Unfortunately, experience has taught me this.
I was abused by a brother and no one in my family can seem to understand how I feel about it, so I just forgave them all and gave up trying to get them to.
I think you can only relate with other survivors about those types of things.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Justmeraeagain It's not for an apology fully, I know he probably won't. It's to let him know that I was very very hurt drastically by his unaccountability my entire life. But I will offer positive words to end it, in small ways that he was a good dad sometime and I do love him. And I want him to essentially feel peace in his life and at end of life. 😞🪻
Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F
@Coralmist
In the end you have to do what you believe is right and for the right reasons.
If in your heart you believe this is the best action than it is the action you take.