Ashley was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in May of 2024

Ashley has had a bad fall and broke his hip and femur on Saturday.
Surgery was delayed until today. A 3 hour operation and he is in recovery so doped up he knows nothing.
This was his 4th hip replacement and there is no knowing how he will handle this mentally.
For the past year he has been very down and in a lot of pain with other issues.
His wife, though stoic, is starting to have health issues and has been his carer since his diagnosis in May of 2024.

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Gusman · 61-69, M

I visited Ashley in hospital yesterday. He looks terrible, lost a lot of weight, very gaunt in the face.
His memory recall has deteriorated significantly from when we last had coffee together 3 weeks ago.
When I walked into his room, he did not know who I was, Gail had to tell him.
Instead of me listing all the things he was unable to remember I will just say he is in a bad way from what he was less than a month ago.
He has some serious metalwork holding his hip in place and stabilising his femur.
He is due to go home tomorrow. Though watching how unstable he is walking, (with a frame) I predict he will have another fall and be back in hospital inside a week.
Gail has visited every day he has been there and is extremely tired. Her workload will only increase when he arrives home. Yes, she has applied for home help but that has not been approved as yet.
I doubt that I will be taking Ashley out for coffee for a very long time.
I will continue to visit him for as long as he is with us and will tell Gail to plan a few hours for herself outside the home whilst I am visiting.

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, MVIP

@Gusman Good man. Offering her a break and ordering her out of the house, even if its only to go shopping on her own is going to be something she may resist at first, but welcome once she tries it. We all take to these things differently of course. But she cant manage him and her out of the house talks like shopping. Maybe arrange to arrive with take away coffee and whatever his favourite treat was...😷

Gusman · 61-69, M

@whowasthatmaskedman Yes, I will do what I can to brighten his day and help Gail have a break.
Not a lot I can do but this.

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, MVIP

@Gusman Sadly medical events like this often cause a tipping point in the dementia condition that never rights itself. He may never be his old self again.😷

Gusman · 61-69, M

@whowasthatmaskedman Ashley had a fall last night, so he never made it home today.
He will be reassessed on Monday. Such a sad situation.

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, MVIP

@Gusman I really dont wish to go where I think this might be leading. How he managed a fall this soon after a broken hip is a problem..😟

Gusman · 61-69, M

@whowasthatmaskedman I understand. I doubt he will be released on Monday though Gail has pushed for him to be released.
As I mentioned, watching him attempting to walk with the frame I could see him falling again very soon.

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, MVIP

@Gusman I can guess whats happening here. While concerned for him of course, your main concern is her and how she will cope. She wont, as much as she desperately wants to. I have lived through this. Her only concern is for him and wanting not to be separated and to care for him..And she will run herself ragged and maybe break herself doing it. All it takes is him to fall on her.. And he is in pain and unstable and on medication for pain and has no idea whats wrong. Sorry to be trite about it. But this has "Titanic" written all over it..

Gusman · 61-69, M

@whowasthatmaskedman I think the reason Gail is pushing for Ashley to be released is because in hospital, he does not have someone watching him every moment, so he becomes distressed and tries to get out of bed.
Gail's thinking is that she will be by his side 24 hours a day, and she will too. But at what cost?
A decision might need to be made to have Ashley permanently admitted to a care home.

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, MVIP

@Gusman If I were helping them, thats where I would be doing my research right now. And be sure to specify Dementia care. It can cut some corners in funding..😷